Everything Can Change in One Night
by kaitlin1227
Summary: Clarke and Finn had been together since they were 16 years old but how will their relationship hold up after she catches him cheating on her? Even thought Clarke knows she isn't thinking clearly she goes and does something that she will later regret. Or maybe she won't... Set in modern day. Rated T for some language.
1. Chapter 1

_This will be my first attempt at a The 100 FF, I hope you all enjoy..._

 _This is set modern day._

 _Please review, I love feedback, good and bad :)_

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Chapter 1

I stumbled through the halls aimlessly. I felt like a teenager all over again, being wasted at some party, crying over my boyfriend hooking up with someone other than me. He promised me that it was over a long time ago but I how can I believe that when I just witnessed them together with my own two eyes. I knew it was a mistake to drink, especially since it's been far too long since the last time I even had a sip. I should have just taken off, I should have gotten into my car and went home but instead I stayed and got drunk.

I walked into one of the many bedrooms this house had, I needed somewhere to sit, somewhere to think without all the people around, without the loud music. I sat on the bed and put my head into my hands and began crying immediately. When I heard a door open I looked up just in time to see a man with curly brown hair walk out of the attached bathroom.

When he saw me sitting there he said "Sorry I hadn't realized anyone was in here."

I sniffled, "I wasn't, just got here."

"Hey you alright?" He looked at me with concerned eyes.

I nodded.

He walked toward me. "Are you sure? You don't look alright."

I looked up at him just in time for fresh tears to start staining my cheeks.

"Your Finn's wife right? Do you want me to get him?"

"NO" I shouted "He's a little preoccupied right now."

He gave a look of understanding. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? You're not the one fucking someone who isn't your wife in another room." I was furious.

He sat next to me, cautiously putting his arm around me. He let me lay my head on his shoulder.

"I can't believe he's doing this to me again, I thought they were over a long time ago." I sobbed "I would have never agreed to marry him if I thought he would have went back to her again."

"So this isn't the first time?" He asked.

I shook my head. "How stupid am I?"

He pulled back from me, looked me straight in my eyes and said "You are not stupid, don't think this is your fault, it's no one's but his."

I knew inside me that I was about to do something I would regret but it didn't stop me. I started kissing him and when I knew he wasn't going to stop me I began taking our clothes off. Before I even knew what was happening we were laying in the bed, completely naked. I had him on his back and slowly climbed on top of him, never taking my eyes from his. By the time we were finally finishing I had started sobering up and the guilt was coming fast. I didn't give him a chance to say a word, I climbed out of bed got dressed and walked out the door.

I didn't go looking for Finn, I honestly didn't care if he was still there I just wanted to go home. I made my way to my car, then back home without any problems. My problem came as soon as I opened the door and seen Finn sitting on the couch.

"Where have you been, I've been worried." Finn said actually seeming to care.

"Seriously? I was at the party." I shouted at him.

"I couldn't find you, someone said they thought they seen you leave." He told me.

"Oh no I didn't leave the party even though I should have." I hissed.

"What's the matter with you?" He asked concerned.

"You really have to ask that?" I yelled "What did you think I'd be ok with you sleeping with Raven again?"

Finn stopped in his tracks "Who told you that?"

I laughed "You going to try and deny it?"

"Clarke you know I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize what we have here, I made that mistake in the past but I thought we moved past that." He said softly.

"I thought we had to but Finn to move past something you have to stop doing it." I was livid.

"I didn't" He finally shouted back.

"You lying bastard… I saw you… With my own two eyes… No one told me shit…" As soon as the words left my mouth I saw Finn's attitude completely change.

"Clarke I'm sorry, I don't know how I let it happen. It didn't mean anything." He pleaded with me.

"Oh don't worry about it you weren't the only one who got lucky tonight." I said before turning and heading for the bedroom.

I heard Finn follow me in "What do you mean? What did you do?"

I smiled "I finally decided to take a page from the Finn Collins books and I have to say it felt great."

Finn face told it all, he never expected something like this from me. I had been his since I was 16 years old, he had been the love of my life. I gave him every bit of myself and until tonight he was the only one I had ever been intimate with.

"Who" He yelled "Who the hell did you sleep with?"

That would be an easy question to answer. "I have no idea."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

These last two months have been absolute hell, Finn apologized saying it would never happen again but I finally had enough. This wasn't the first time he had been unfaithful and I knew it wouldn't be the last. I honestly thought he was the one for me, we met at 15 when his family moved down the street from mine and I really felt it was love at first sight. We became friends right away then officially started dating a year later, I knew he left a girlfriend back home but being only 15 I didn't figure it was anything serious. I found out right before we graduated that he had been secretly having a relationship with Raven on the side for a full year. Since she lived so far away they had actually only seen each other on a few occasions but when they had seen each other, they had slept together. I should have left him then, I know that now.

I feel like a complete idiot for thinking he had changed. All my friends told me to leave him then and now I wish I would have listened. I was just so caught up in what our relationship had been I didn't see what it turned into. We moved away after graduation and got married as soon as I completed medical school. I started residency soon after and actually just completed it two months ago, hence the reason for the party. I look back on the last 3 ½ years and wonder if it had been a mistake to marry him, I had no idea if he had ever been faithful to me.

I walked into the break room at work automatically seeing one of my best friends, Maya. She held a small brown paper bag toward me. I took a deep breath then walked toward her, taking the bag and walking straight into the bathroom not saying a word. I walked into the stall, opened the bag and took out the box that was inside. I felt my eyes begin to water. Taking another deep breath I opened the box looking at the white test that now sat in my hands. I wasn't sure how long I sat there staring at the test before Maya asked if I was okay, it finally pulled me back to what I was there to do. Finally I used the test, sat in on the back of the toilet on top of the box and went and stood next to Maya. I knew these next 2 to 3 minutes would be the longest of my life.

Maya gave me the look and I knew what she was going to say before she even opened her mouth, "it's time."

I took a deep breath but didn't move, "will you check it?"

"Are you sure?" She asked cautiously.

I nodded knowing I wouldn't be able to check it myself.

She walked into the stall grabbed the box that the test was still sitting on top of then walked back out.

"You want to see it?" She asked not giving the results away.

I shook my head, "just tell me."

This time when she looked at me I knew what the test showed. I didn't need to hear the next words that left her mouth, "you're pregnant."

The next few weeks after finding out I was pregnant went by with a blur. I've kept myself busy at the hospital as much as possible just so I wouldn't have to think of the decision I had to make. No one knew about my situation except for Maya and she promised she wouldn't say anything, especially not to her husband Jasper, who just happened to be Finn's best friend. My biggest problem was I didn't know who fathered my child, Finn and I had been trying to start a family for well over a year now and hadn't been successful. So I kept thinking what is the possibility that now all of a sudden I'm able to get pregnant by him. Then there was the other guy, the random guy that I hooked up with at the party, my party. I had no idea who he was but I hated to admit he had a good chance of fathering my unborn baby, I was so upset and so drunk I hadn't even used protection with him.

There was no doubt in my mind that I would have this baby, I just didn't know if I was going to keep it. I didn't know if I should involve Finn or try to find this mystery guy, my mind was all over the place. I knew if I tried hard enough I'd be able to find out who I had been with that night but I honestly didn't know if I wanted to know. I knew if I got the men involved then the choice wouldn't be just mine anymore. Telling Finn was something I knew I would have to do I just didn't want to until I absolutely had to.

I had just finished one of my 12 hour shifts and wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep until I had to be in the next day but that didn't happen. Finn was waiting for me when I got home. He was nice enough not to just let himself inside but it still pissed me off to even have to look at him.

"What do you want Finn?" I asked as I walked from my car toward the door not even looking at him.

"You've been avoiding my calls, I knew this was the only way that I'd be able to talk to you." He said as he followed me to the door.

"What do you need to say that you haven't said yet?" I finally turned and faced him.

He stared at me, "Clarke you have to know how sorry I am about all of this."

"I do know how sorry you are but it changes nothing." I told him.

"How have you not been miserable?" He asked me harshly.

"You think I haven't been miserable?" I laughed "You have no idea what this last 2 ½ months have been like for me, it's been pure hell."

Finn looked at me differently, "Then let's make it better, for the both of us, I promise you Clarke nothing like this will ever happen again."

"I've heard that before and guess what you broke that promise, I gave you a second chance and you messed that up." I couldn't believe he was seriously standing here thinking I'd just take him back.

"When we were kids I wasn't mature enough to know what I actually had and you have no idea how grateful I am that you forgave me after making that horrible mistake but I have been faithful to you for the last 8 years, I haven't even thought about being with anyone other than you, I don't know what happened at that party but I know it shouldn't have and I will not ever let something like that happen again if you can find it in your heart to give me just one more second chance." Finn pleaded with me.

"How do I know you've been faithful the last 8 years?" I shouted "I don't think it was a coincidence that it was the same person."

"You have to take my word, I wouldn't lie to you." Finn said softly.

He was unbelievable "But you did lie Finn when you said it would never happen again then again the day I married you."

I opened the door, walked inside and closed it behind me. Not looking back at Finn, not wanting him to see how upset this has made me. I silently wipe the tears from my cheeks as I sat down in front of the door.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you so much for the reviews, Bellarkelover07 & sydcasy. I hoped others would enjoy this :)_

 _Also thanks to everyone who favorited and/or followed my story as well..._

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Chapter 3

I walked out of the doctor's office feeling just as terrible as I did when I walked in it. I hoped they would tell me that the test was a mistake that something else was going on but I had no such luck. It was now confirmed by a doctor that I was indeed pregnant, now I knew my next step was to tell Finn. I knew he was going to use this as an excuse to try and get back together, it's the exact reason I had put off telling him for as long as I have.

I grabbed my phone and figured I would just send him a text, there was no reason in talking to him any sooner than I had to.

 _-Can you come by the house? We need to talk._

It took him about 20 minutes to reply.

 _-Be there in about an hour._

I knew this next hour would feel like the longest ever, knowing what I was going to have to do.

Finn ended up being late, actually by a couple hours and by the time he finally made it to the house I was beyond pissed. I didn't want an excuse I just wanted to get this done.

"I'm so sorry." He said as he walked into the house.

"I don't care, look we need to talk and it's important, important enough that I sat here waiting." I had an attitude and I knew it.

"What's going on?" He asked finally noticing that something was going on.

"I'm pregnant." I said right away, I didn't want to hint around about stuff I wanted this done so I could get him out of my house.

"Are you serious?" He asked wide-eyed.

"Do you think I would joke about something like this?" I knew he could tell I wasn't in a joking mood.

"So what does that mean?" He asked almost looking hopeful.

"Nothing for us, this changes nothing." I wanted to make sure he understood this.

"What do you mean it changes nothing? This is a sign Clarke." I knew he would say this.

"I don't think it's yours Finn." I got straight to it.

His mouth dropped, "What do you mean?"

I couldn't help but let out a sarcastic laugh, "I slept with someone else the night you cheated on me Finn, you know this. Do you honestly think there could be a chance this baby is yours?"

"It is possible but that could be kept between us, this is what we've wanted for so long. Don't you see this is our way to start again, start as a family." He honestly thought he had a chance.

"I would never bring a child into the joke of a relationship that we had, if this child is yours then we'll figure out visitation but until then we don't need to speak anymore." I hesitated before adding the next part knowing that it would cause a fight. "But that all depends on if I keep it, I don't know if I'm capable of raising another person right now."

"What are you saying, you don't know if you're going to have it?" I knew he was going to have problems accepting my choice.

"I will have it, there's no questions there. I just don't know if I will keep it." I finally told him.

"Don't I have to agree to that?" He asked.

"If the baby is yours then yes you do." I now understood that if this baby was his I would have a hard time putting it up for adoption because I knew Finn and he wouldn't sign over his rights.

"I won't do it." He said without hesitation.

"That's your decision but we'll talk about that after we know the paternity, I'm planning on having a test done while I'm pregnant." The doctor had recommended getting the test done since I was heavily considering adoption, I knew exactly how Finn would respond to my decision so I needed to know before the baby was born.

"You can do that?" He asked almost sounding concerned.

I nodded, "It'll be done around 20 weeks, so you have two months."

"I'll prove to you by then that I'm ready to step up, I know I failed you but it won't happen again." I knew he wouldn't give up but I was used to it but I knew my heart could never love him like it had before.

"You can do whatever you feel you need to but when the test comes back that the baby is not yours I just want you to back off." I knew I sounded cold but I had to stand my ground.

"You are so certain that it's not mine but what happens when it is Clarke, what then?" Finn said harshly.

"We'll talk about it then, but you can go now I got stuff to do." I hated that our relationship has come to this but I honestly couldn't stand seeing him anymore, it hurt too bad. "I'll let you know when the appointment is."

I walked to the door hoping he was following me because I never looked back I got to the door, opened it and was relieved to see he had followed me and left without saying another word. He knew how bad he hurt me and I didn't know if that pain would ever go away.

As soon as Finn was gone I called Maya, I promised her I would tell her as soon as I talked to him. I knew she was dying to share the news with Jasper, I hated asking her to keep this from him but she understood. She knew it would be easier for her to keep the secret from him than him keeping the secret from Finn. Jasper was known for spilling the beans about things especially when it came to Finn, somehow he always ended up getting things out of Jasper even if he tried his hardest not to say a word.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

As the month progressed so did my ill feelings for Finn, he had seriously not given up since the day I told him I was pregnant. His actions may have worked on me before but the only things it did now was piss me off. I knew that he meant well but he just needed to take a hint, I was done with him and the last 4 months should have told him that. He knew my doctor appointment was coming up and he wanted to get an invite but I didn't want him there so he wouldn't be there. If by chance this baby was his then I would reconsider him coming to the remaining doctor appointments with me but I just felt he had no reason to be there now.

I had been half afraid that Finn would show up at my monthly appointment but was relieved when the appointment came and went and there was no sign of him. I had the Amniocentesis set for the next month so I figured I'd send him a text with the date and location, that's the only contact I wanted with him. After I text him he tried to text me back a few times but I didn't care what he had to say, as long as I knew he got my message was all that mattered to me.

The month was up quicker than I would have liked, having to see Finn again wasn't something I was looking forward to. When I pulled up I noticed he was already there waiting, I sighed then got out of my car and walked up to his. I figured it was best to do this on good terms, there was still the possibility that Finn was the father and he if was I really needed him to think about adoption. My mind still wasn't completely made up but adoption was a strong possibility, I didn't think it was fair to bring this small innocent child into a home that was as messed up as mine, I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to give it what it needed.

We walked together, he didn't try to talk to me which I found comforting. I was called back almost immediately then got prepared for the test. Finn stood next to me the entire time and even held my hand while they entered the needle into my stomach. I hoped that he didn't think more into the hand holding than what it was, but that would be something we would worry about another time. The test was done pretty quickly but what surprised me mostly was when the doctor asked if I wanted to know the sex of the baby. This wasn't even something I had thought about but now that I was in the position to know I couldn't help but feel like I needed to.

I looked at Finn then back to the doctor, "Yea I'd like to know."

She smiled at me then said, "You're having a baby girl."

The emotions that went through me in that moment was something that I hadn't experienced the whole pregnancy, I felt excited. I just kept picturing this little girl, my little girl. This was the first time I ever thought about keeping my baby.

Finn must have noticed my change because as soon as the doctor left he asked, "Are you alright?"

I tried to nod but ended up shaking my head, "I don't know what to do Finn, I know I can't raise this little girl but I don't know if I could let someone else raise her either."

I saw the hope on his face, he thought because I was having conflicting feelings about the baby that the same might happen about him.

"Clarke if she's mine I'll help you and not just because I want you back, you know how I feel about you but she's the most important thing right now and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure she's happy." Finn's words hit me exactly where I didn't want them to, they went straight to my heart and I couldn't help but wonder if maybe this baby was a sign.

The next couple weeks were pure hell waiting on the results from the test. I was so certain that I didn't want Finn to be my daughters father but now that I have been thinking about keeping her I couldn't help but think that Finn being the father wouldn't be that bad after all. At least she would get to know her father, she wouldn't have to grow up not knowing who helped create her.

Finally the call happened that I had been waiting for, my doctor asked if I could come into the office she wanted to go over the results with me in person. I made it to her office in under 10 minutes not wanting to wait any longer than I had to. She greeted me at the door and I followed her inside, she asked me to sit so I did.

"A copy of these results will be sent to your home as well as the potential fathers, we have already received the results and I would like to go over them with you." She told me.

"Go ahead." I was impatient.

She unfolded the paper, took a deep breath then handed it over to me.

"If you look about halfway down the paper you will see Finn's name listed."

I skimmed the paper and seen in bold print, **FINN COLLINS, Possibility of Paternity 0%.**

I felt my heart sink which was an odd feeling, it was that moment that I realized I had wanted Finn to be her father. As much as I hated him right now he had been my best friend and the love of my life for many years. I knew he would have been a good father to, he just wasn't a good husband.

"Now Clarke with these results you need to sit down and really think about what you need to do, I could tell that you have been more open to the possibility of keeping the baby since Finn's involvement but now that you know she is not his you need to sit and think, are you willing to do this by yourself." I knew my doctor wasn't trying to be mean, she just knew how much I had been struggling with this decision and now that I knew for sure Finn wasn't the father, it should have made the decision easier but it did the exact opposite.


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you once again for your review Bellarkelover and thank you to heidi :)_

 _Also thanks to the new followers/favorites_

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Chapter 5

I knew we wouldn't be receiving the results in the mail until the next day but I kept going back and forth with myself debating if I should tell Finn sooner. I didn't know if I would feel comfortable telling him though, I knew this was going to tear him up, he really wanted to be her father.

I decided I'd go ahead and tell him, I didn't want it to be face to face though, so I called him. After two rings someone picked up but it wasn't Finn.

"Uh is Finn around." I really wanted to just hang up the phone but couldn't.

"He actually just got in the shower, sorry." She said with a snotty attitude.

I knew as soon as she answered just who it was. It made my blood boil that I had actually been feeling bad about telling Finn about the baby, my baby. But now I was so blinded with anger I did something that I know I shouldn't but I couldn't help myself.

"Well if you wouldn't mind relaying a message to him, please let him know the baby isn't his so we can get on with this divorce and he can get out of my life." I tried to sound cheery but I knew I fell far.

"I'm not…" She attempted to say something but I cut her off.

"You wanted in the middle of our relationship, you got it now, hell maybe he'll be so broken about this he might actually give you a chance to be something other than some whore he bangs behind my back." I was so pissed off and it felt so good to finally get some of the feelings off my chest.

I didn't give her a chance to respond, I hung up on her. I knew I shouldn't have told her our business but if he wanted to keep dragging her into it then why shouldn't I do the same. I didn't know if she would actually tell him but about an hour later when my phone started blowing up I knew she had. I didn't answer his call nor his texts. I didn't have anything else to say to him, I may have let our situation get to me momentarily but he showed me once again why I shouldn't trust him.

He called for hours and hours but I didn't give in, I didn't answer. I don't know why it surprised me when he showed up later that night. I knew right away he had been drinking so I refused to let him in.

"Clarke open this door, you can't keep ignoring me." He yelled outside my door.

"Go home Finn, come back tomorrow when you're sober." I really didn't want to see him but I would if it made him leave now.

"Do you think I'm an idiot, I may be drunk but not that drunk, I know your just telling me that so I'll leave now." He slurred.

"That may be the truth but I'll actually see you and talk to you tomorrow as long as you're sober." I sighed hoping I was actually getting through to him.

"You promise." He said finally calming down.

"Yea just text me when you get up." I told him.

I heard him mumbling something then I heard his footsteps walking away from the house. Finn had never been much of a drinker but when he did drink he sometimes got a little mean so I knew it was best for me to just let him leave.

It ended up being almost 1pm the next day when Finn finally called me. I had to work overnight that night so told him he needed to come sooner rather than later. Finally around 3 he showed up. I let him in and noticed immediately he looked like hell. I knew I should feel sorry for him but I couldn't help but think he deserved it, it didn't matter to me why he was with Raven yesterday just the fact that he was, was enough to push me away.

"I'm sorry." Was the first words that came out of his mouth.

"About what exactly you coming to my house acting like you did or are you sorry that your whore answered your phone when I called yesterday?" I knew I shouldn't act like that but I did anyway.

"Both." He said barley more than a whisper.

"You know I thought for just a minute that we could actually be civil, maybe even have some kind of friendship after all this but now I'm not so sure." I was an emotional wreck "You made it seem like you hadn't even talked to her since that night but now I know that you have once again lied to me."

"I've been seeing her." He came right out with it and I felt like my heart was being crushed all over again.

"Seriously?" I yelled.

I couldn't believe that I was once again letting him get under my skin.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I knew you wasn't going to give me another shot so didn't think I really needed to tell you." He said obviously feeling guilty.

"What would have happened if I had decided to give it another try? Then would you have told me?" I was so angry with this man.

"Of course I would have." I insisted.

"You're such a liar Finn, I know you wouldn't have because you would have known that if you told me then your chance would be gone." I couldn't believe he was trying to lie to me again.

"Why are we even talking about this? We both know I would have never had another chance." Finn sounded disappointed.

"Well you are right about that now, there is no chance in hell I would ever want anything to do with you again." I knew I shouldn't sound so hateful and I knew it was really bad timing to do what I was about to but I couldn't help it, I was so frustrated with him I couldn't help myself.

I went over to my desk, grabbed a packet of papers and laid them down in front of Finn.

"What?" He started to say before he realized what was sitting in front of him.

When his eyes met mine I knew this was a low blow, he was already hurting from learning he wasn't my daughter's father and now here I am giving him divorce papers.

"I know this probably wasn't the best time to give you these but I need them to be signed before she's born." I didn't want to tell Finn but I didn't want his name anywhere near her birth certificate and if nothing more she would have his last name if we are still legally married.

He got up without saying a word, he grabbed the papers off the table and walked out of the house without even looking back at me.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

It had been a whole month since I heard from Finn, a week after I gave him the papers my lawyer called and said he signed them and actually brought them to him. He didn't contest anything he just wanted the marriage to be finalized, so now it was. I am now a divorced woman, a divorced pregnant woman. I took back my maiden name so now I am officially Clarke Griffin again. It sucked being only 25 and divorced but I learned from my mistakes and now I think I'm stronger because of it.

It took a lot of back and forth but I had finally decided that I was going to keep my little girl. This was a huge decision since I just started permanently in the ER at the hospital. I just finished residency a few months ago and was so afraid that keeping this baby was going to hurt my career. If it wasn't for my mom and step-dad agreeing to move here to help out my decision may have been different. I knew my mom wanted to be closer anyway so she could be around her first grandchild but was afraid to ask Marcus to uproot his life as well. It surprised both me and my mom when he agreed without any kind of convincing. I knew Marcus cared for me like I was his own but this proved just how much he loved our family.

It had taken me a little while to get use to my mom dating Marcus after my dad died since they had been friends but when he asked her to marry him that was when I finally realized just how happy he made my mom. That day was the day I finally accepted Marcus into my family. I knew my mom was scared of my reaction because of how close I was with my dad, I knew he was going to ask before he did so when my mom hesitated to accept I made sure she knew I was alright with it.

I was on one of my overnights in the ER, it had been a relatively slow night so far which was alright with me. Since I was now going on 7 months pregnant I wasn't sure how much longer I would be able to stay where I was.

I heard one of my co-working yelling "We have a 30 year old male, shot several time in the line of duty."

We didn't have very many police officers shot while working in this area but when we did it was usually pretty bad. I felt Maya beside me as we followed our new patient into the operating room. We got the room set up then helped get him ready to go into emergency surgery. Maya started prepping him before I got to him but as soon as I seen him I stopped in my tracks, it was hard to really see his face since there was so much blood everywhere but I knew who this man was.

"Clarke get over here." Maya was yelling but I couldn't move.

She turned toward me and was saying something else but I couldn't hear her. I didn't know what was happening, the room started spinning and then everything went black. I didn't know how long I was out but when I woke back up I was no longer in the operating room I was in a room of my own, I looked around and seen I had an IV hooked up and then I noticed they were monitoring the baby. I tried to move but stopped immediately as the pain shot up my back.

I looked up just in time to see Maya walking into my room.

"What the heck happened to you in there?" She said obviously concerned.

"That patient, do you know how his surgery went?" I had to know.

"What?" She didn't understand.

"The man with the gunshot wounds did he make it out of surgery?" I asked again.

"I don't know, why?" She looked at me oddly.

"That's him, he's the man from my party." I stated.

Maya looked at me and her mouth dropped. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. "That's not a face I could forget."

"I'll go check on him for you." She said knowing I needed to know.

"Thank you Maya." I was grateful to have a best friend like her.

Just as Maya was walking out of the room, my doctor walked in.

"You gave us quite a scare." She told me.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what happened." I didn't want anyone other than Maya to know I kind of knew this man.

"Everything is looking pretty good but I'm going to recommend you take it easy for the rest of your pregnancy." I didn't like where this was going.

"But that's still over 2 months." I said knowing I needed to continue to work up until I had her.

"I didn't mean you couldn't work but you need to take it easy while you're here." I knew she was worried but I hated feeling like I wouldn't be up to my fullest potential.

I ended up just agreeing, my doctor came highly recommended because she knows how to do her job. So if she tells me I need to cut back some then I will. And agreeing with her helped me get out of this bed and back to a certain someone who I really needed to make sure was alright.

Maya came back to my room about a half an hour later, she held a file in her hand. She walked over to my bed and held the file out to me.

The first thing my eyes went to was his name, _Bellamy Blake_. Saying the name to myself I couldn't help but think it actually sounded familiar but I couldn't figure out where I had heard it before. I opened the file and skimmed through the pages, I seen the surgery went well, they were able to recover all the bullets but he had lost a lot of blood and still hasn't woke up.

I looked back up at Maya, "Well at least her father has a name now."


	7. Chapter 7

_So first I need to say thanks to each and everyone who reviewed, followed and/or favorited this. I haven't written much on here but what I have has never gotten this much love :D_

 _I know it's taken awhile to introduce Bellamy (again) but I needed the timing to be right_

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Chapter 7

I hated having to stay in this hospital bed but my doctor wanted me to stay overnight for observation. When I fell I hit my back pretty hard but it appeared that was the only damage done. I knew I was supposed to stay in bed but now that I knew where Bellamy was I couldn't be in the hospital overnight not knowing exactly how he was doing. I read his file so I knew on paper how he was but there's just something about actually seeing the patient to really get the full picture.

I was happy when they took the IV earlier because it would have been a lot harder to get around in the halls wheeling that thing around. It took me a little bit to even get to the part of the hospital that he was in but the moment I seen his room I froze. Then the realization hit me I was about to come face to face with the man who I was currently pregnant by, I knew that he wasn't conscious but that didn't matter, I was nervous.

I took a deep breath then walked into his room, I have seen a lot as a resident here but I had to admit that this was probably one of the worse cases. He looked like hell, the blood no longer covered his face but there was deep black and purple bruising covering a large part of it. I slowly walked up next to the bed, I didn't know exactly why I was here, I guess I just needed to see him. I stood there for a good 10 minutes before pulling a chair up next to his bed and sat in it.

I took his hand in mine then softly said, "Bellamy you're going to have to wake up, I know it's going to be hard and painful but it'll be worth it, at least I hope you think it will be."

I wanted this man to wake up for the sake of our daughter but what if he didn't want anything to do with her, I wouldn't force him but I wanted to give him the option to know her. I couldn't fathom her not knowing her dad, my dad was my favorite person in the world and if she didn't get the opportunity to try and have the same kind of connection with her father then I would feel like I was failing her.

It was late and I knew I should have started walking back to my room but I just figured if I rested my head for a few minutes it would help with the long walk back. My few minutes ended up turning into hours and was woke up by someone coming into his room the next morning.

I heard talking so I slowly lifted my head, my eyes still fuzzy from sleeping.

"Clarke?" I heard a ladies voice asking but not sounding sure.

"Huh?" I said as my eyes finally started focusing.

I looked around and realized I was still in Bellamy's room and still currently holding his hand.

"Shit what time is it?" I asked still not seeing the girls face.

"After 8." She responded.

I tried to stand up but regretted it immediately, sleeping over Bellamy's bed like that was a bad idea, my back was killing me and I haven't had any Tylenol since the night before.

I felt someone's arms around me, "Are you alright?"

"Yea" I said as I sat back down "Just hurt my back yesterday and sleeping like that wasn't a good idea."

"To my next question, why are you sleeping in here?" She sounded interested.

I finally looked up and saw her face, I knew this girl but couldn't put a name to her face right away, and then it hit me, "Octavia?"

She nodded, I haven't seen her in years, actually since high school, we weren't friends exactly but we were alright with each other.

"Why are you here?" I asked knowing I was evading her question.

"Because that's my brother." She stated like I should have known.

That's when everything came together, why his name looked familiar.

"So you going to answer my question now?" She asked not so kindly.

"I was actually working yesterday when he came in, I was one of the nurses prepping him for surgery." I paused "Something happened and I ended up fainting in the operating room and they've had me over in the maternity ward since so I snuck over here last night and I actually didn't mean to fall asleep."

"I didn't know you and Finn were expecting." She said out of the blue.

"Were not." I said not thinking before I said it.

She gave me a suspicious look.

"Finn and I are divorced." I told her straight out.

"Because of Raven?" Her question caught me off guard.

"How do you know that?" I stared at this girl.

"I've known Raven for a few years now and I've known about them for a while." It took me a minute to really comprehend what she just said.

"Wait a minute what do you mean you've known about them for a while now?" I finally said.

Octavia just stared at me for a minute then finally said, "They've been seeing each other for a few years off and on."

"Are you serious?" I don't know why I thought even for a second that he was telling me the truth about it being the first time since high school.

"I thought you knew?" She said looking confused.

I took a deep breath trying to calm myself back down, "I actually thought it had only happened one time, which was at the party he threw for me for finishing up my residency, he swore up and down that it hadn't happened anymore since high school."

"I'm sorry I just assumed you knew about the ongoing affair." I believed her when she told me that, I don't think she would be trying to hurt me.

"I should have known but I was working so many hours I must have completely missed it, you have no idea how glad I am that this baby isn't his." I said not thinking that it would bring up the next question.

"So who is the father?" The question took me by surprise, I looked up at her wondering if she knew something.


	8. Chapter 8

_Thanks for the reviews again, sydcasy & heidi1245401 :)_

 _Also thanks to the new people who are following and/or favorited_

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Chapter 8

I was back in my room and my doctor was beyond pissed that I took off, I didn't tell them exactly where I went but they could figure it out if they pushed hard enough. Octavia ended up walking back with me to my room, well she pushed me in a wheel chair she wasn't going to let me walk anywhere. I didn't tell her that I was pregnant by her brother, I figured that would be his choice after I was finally able to tell him. I just told her it was a one night stand and I hadn't been in contact with him since.

My doctor said she wanted me off the next couple days but I convinced her to okay my return as long as I was only dealing with patients who needed minimal care. My rounds would pretty much just be going around and seeing if anyone needed anything more than what they already had. It wasn't the grandest of jobs but it kept me at the hospital so I could keep an eyes on Bellamy. Since he would likely be one of my patients I wouldn't have to make up an excuse of why I was seeing him.

As soon as I was released from the hospital I went home and called Maya immediately. I knew she was working but told her to stop by on her way home from work. She called when she was on her way then pulled up about 20 minutes later. I knew I could have told her over the phone about Bellamy but I just wanted to do it in person.

I waited as patiently as I could for her to walk up the driveway and into the house. But I couldn't hold back anymore as soon as the door was closed I said. "Well I met Bellamy's sister this morning."

Maya looked at me like I was crazy, "What?"

"Yea I kind of fell asleep in his room last night and woke up this morning when she came in." I told her.

"Are you serious, did she think you were some crazy stalker?" She asked me.

"No actually, I know her, well we know her." I told her then waited on the expression I was expecting before saying, "You remember Octavia Blake?"

It was obvious the moment when she put two and two together. "Yea now I know why the name sounded familiar."

"And apparently she knows Raven as well." I paused "She told me that she and Finn had been having an affair off and on again for years."

Maya looked at my worried, "Do you believe her?"

"Why would she lie?" I did believe her.

"I don't know but Finn has really showed his true colors lately." Maya said sadly.

I couldn't agree more, "It just sucks that I've wasted so many years with him."

"Well now you can start over, your only 25 so it's not like your old." Maya said trying to lighten my mood.

"Yea 25, newly divorced with a newborn." I laughed "I'm every man's dream girl."

Maya stayed around for a few hours then headed home. It was already dark by the time she left and I couldn't help but be exhausted, I hadn't slept very good the night before and was ready for a good night sleep. I was asleep pretty much the moment my head hit the pillow.

The next morning I woke up before my alarm, feeling refreshed. Took a shower then got ready for work. I had never been this excited about working before. I left earlier than usual, figuring I could check on Bellamy before starting my shift.

I was about to walk into the room when I noticed a younger woman standing next to his bed, I noticed immediately it wasn't Octavia and by the way she was holding his hand she was someone important to him. My heart sank, Bellamy had a girlfriend. I cursed to myself wondering how long they had been dating and wondered if he had cheated on her with me. The feeling of being the other woman didn't sit well with me.

I didn't bother going into the room, figuring I'd just wait until I was on my shift and would see him if I needed to. When I got my patients names I noticed Bellamy's name was the first one, including him I only had 3 patients. I knew it was going to be hard 'taking it easy' but I hadn't realized just how hard. Having only 3 patients was nothing compared to what I was used to.

I did my rounds for the other two patients, saving Bellamy for last, hoping by then the woman in his room would be gone but I had no such luck. But this time I couldn't walk away, now it was my responsibility to be in there.

I walked in the room with a smile on my face, "Hi I'm Clarke I'll be Mr. Blake's nurse for the next 12 hours."

She smiled sweetly at me. "Hi."

"So how is he doing?" I asked her since she had obviously been here for a while.

"The same." She replied with a look of worry on her face.

I looked through his file, like I hadn't already read every word in it over and over already. "Well it appears he has been stable the whole time he's been here and no problems breathing on his own so that's a really good sign."

"That's what everyone keeps saying but then why won't he wake up?" She was obviously his girlfriend.

"He'll wake up when he's ready, it's not like he's in a coma or anything." I tried to make her feel better "Are you family?"

"I'm his girlfriend, I don't know if you consider that family or not." She said politely.

"You're his partner, of course we consider that family." I just kept my fake smile plastered on my face.

"Honestly we haven't been together that long but ever since he told me what he did for a living I was so afraid something like this would happen." She sobbed "He promised me that he would be ok, his exact words were 'I've done this for over 10 years now, I think I know how to stay out of trouble.' But who I am to ask him to give up his passion."

"Look I don't know him personally but I've met my fair share of police officers and men and women in the service, they know each and every day they are risking their lives but they do it to protect all of us, if they weren't there then we wouldn't be either." I knew she was scared but it aggravated me that she could even think about asking him to quit his job because of it. If he had been doing this for over 10 years then he obviously loved what he did.


	9. Chapter 9

_Thanks once again for the review heidi, the reviews are whats getting me to get chapters up sooner :)_

 _And to everyone who followed or favorited after the last update, thank you so much as well!_

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Chapter 9

The next few days went pretty much the same, I came in only having a few patients and Bellamy was always one of them. I've seen Octavia on a few different occasions now and actually even met his mom, I only seen his girlfriend Gina that first day but she hadn't been back since. It was my fourth day of coming in and I expected this day to be just like the others but I was in for a big surprise.

I started making my rounds, finished the first three patients first, like I had been doing then went to check on Bellamy. When I reached his room I saw Octavia standing next to him holding his hand but what I didn't expect was once I actually walked into the room I saw he was sitting up.

I was shocked and all I could say was "Your awake."

He just stared at me.

"He woke up around 2 this morning." Octavia said obviously happy that her brother was finally awake.

"Sorry I was just surprised they hadn't updated his file that he was awake." I told Octavia.

"Clarke Collins?" I heard Bellamy ask, his voice was weak.

"Actually it's Griffin again." I smiled at him.

I went and grabbed the blood pressure machine, I felt how shaky my hands were and I was starting to wonder how I was going to do this. I wrapped the cuff around his bicep, he hadn't taken his eyes off me since I walked in the room.

"Please keep your arm still for me." I said hating that not only my hands were shaky but my voice was to.

"You're pregnant?" He asked barley more than a whisper.

I nodded.

Once the machine started beeping I noticed that it was finished, I hadn't been watching the numbers like I should have been. I was too distracted with the situation. His blood pressure was slightly elevated.

"I'm going to have the doctor come in and check on you since your blood pressure is a little high, it's nothing to worry about but it wouldn't be a bad idea to have him look you over." I told Bellamy.

"Clarke." I heard Bellamy say before I walked out of the door.

I turned around "Yea."

"How far along are you?" As soon as the words left his mouth I knew he had a feeling that he might be the father.

"About 7 months." I said then turned around and walked out of his room.

I'd be back by his room later to check on him again and I figured that would give him enough time to think of anything he wanted to ask me. I would be open and honest with him, there wasn't any reason to hold anything back. I wasn't sure if he wanted anything said in front of his sister anyway, that's the main reason I tried not to say much then.

I found the doctor told him about the blood pressure, he agreed that it was probably nothing major as well but he was going to go check on him. I couldn't help but check Bellamy's file after the doctor went and seen him, it looked like his blood pressure was back to normal. Now thinking about it, it may have been elevated because of me being there. It had been a few hours since I last saw Bellamy so when it was time to go check in on him again I couldn't help but get a little excited.

When I got to his room and realized that he had more company I couldn't help but feel a little depressed, especially when I realized it was Gina. I smiled as I walked into his room.

"So how are you feeling?" I asked.

"A little tired and sore." He responded.

I smiled at him, "well I have something here that will help the pain."

I walked over to his IV and inserted his pain medicine and antibiotics into it.

I heard from behind me, "I hate to ask this but would you mind going on home, I'm really tired and I'm afraid I won't be able to sleep if I know you're here."

"Sure." I heard Gina reply, an obvious disappointment in her voice.

I heard a kiss then footsteps walking out of the room and the door closing back.

"I want you to know I wasn't with her when that happened." His statement surprised me.

"Does it really matter, I was married." I told him not turning around.

"I just wanted you to know that I'm not that kind of man, I'm not the kind of man who would cheat on someone." He said softly.

"That's good to know, but obviously I am that kind of person since it did happen." I felt myself getting emotional but I kept fidgeting with the IV machine so I wouldn't have to look at him.

"I don't think that's true, I know I don't know you but from what I hear you were pretty loyal to Finn until that night and he didn't deserve it one bit." I heard the hatred in his voice when he mentioned Finn's name.

"It doesn't matter what he did and didn't do, I broke the commitment I made and now I'm being punished for it." I didn't mean to say the last part and I really didn't think the pregnancy was because of that, did I?

I finally turned around and looked at Bellamy. He just stared at me. He looked like he wanted to say something but was having problems with it.

"How did you find me?" His question surprised me.

"I didn't I was in the ER when you were brought in." I told him.

"So you saw me when I was first brought in?" He looked worried.

"Yea and let me say it scared the shit out of me." I told him honestly.

"I bet." He replied.

"I honestly never expected to see you again then you show up here, it's like it was a sign." I said softly.

Finally the question came that I had been waiting for, "The baby… Is it mine?"

I took a deep breath, "Yes she is."

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 _He finally knows :)_


	10. Chapter 10

_Thank you to everyone who reviewed after last chapter, that was the most reviews I've had so far from one chapter :)_

 _apester,_ _sydcasy,_ _Bellarkelover07,_ _strangeJenny,_ _heidi1245401,_ _jo jo l, & __mycrimsonstarlightangel **YOU ALL ROCK!**  
_

 _I'd also like to give a personal shoutout to mycrimsonstarlightangel, she is actually a good friend of mine who helped me out with this story, I actually have a bit more already written but was stuck for quite sometime around chapter 18 but with her help was finally able to move past it. But until today she hadn't actually read any of it, I just kind of explained what was going on but she helped me out perfectly. She's always been my go to when I hit a snag when writing..._

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Chapter 10

I didn't know exactly what I expected when I finally told Bellamy about the baby but it wasn't what had happened. He was actually very supportive, he promised me that he'd help me out as much as I needed it and that I didn't need to hesitate asking for anything. He seemed genuinely happy about having a child, even if it was with someone he wasn't in a relationship with. It had went so much better than I hoped, I had been so worried especially when I saw he had a girlfriend, I just didn't want to get in the middle.

I had started coming up to the hospital on my days off just so we could talk, I found myself spending hours at a time with him. When they wanted him to start trying to walk on his own they tried to assign someone else to him but after a lot of pleading I was able to stay with him. I knew his time was limited in the hospital and I hated to admit it but I was not looking forward to him leaving. I knew since he didn't have any damage to any nerves that he would be walking pretty regularly in just a couple days which meant he would be released in about a week or so.

Even spending almost every day with him the last few weeks I still got nervous anytime I had to touch him. The worst was when I was changing the bandages on his stomach, my hands became shaky and this time was no better than the last. I had just finished cleaning them and was getting ready to put the new bandages on but I was shaking so much I couldn't get it lined up. I felt his hand on mine, my eyes immediately went to his, and as soon as our eyes met I felt something between us. I could feel my heart racing and by looking at the machine hooked up to him it was having the same effect on him.

Like it was on cue the baby started kicking which made me smile, I took his hand and placed it on my stomach. His eyes lit up when he felt her for the first time.

"I can't believe she's mine." He whispered.

We stood like that for a little while longer but I knew I needed to get his bandages back on, I didn't need him to get any kind of infection. Even as much as I'd like for him to stay longer in the hospital I knew he needed to get better and get home so he could be getting back to work. Even after being shot he talked all the time about going back, he really missed it.

The day before he was being released we were in his room talking like we did every day. He was acting nervous and I was curious what was going on. Finally he asked, "I was just thinking it might not be a bad idea to exchange numbers, you know because of the baby."

I couldn't help but smile, I grabbed his phone from the table went into his contacts and added mine to it.

"There." I said as I laid the phone back down "Now you don't have any excuse not to be in contact."

He picked up his phone and started typing something, my phone immediately started beeping.

I took my phone out of my pocket and see I had a new text.

 _-Thanks Princess_

I couldn't help but smile at the nickname he had given me. I saved his number into my phone then looked back up at him.

"It's not going to be the same here without you around." I told him honestly.

"I bet it'll be boring." He kidded.

I nodded then laughed.

I don't know what exactly was growing between the two of us but I knew there was something. I was glad that we got along as well as we did though, it would make everything so much easier when the baby was born. I had to check on my other patients so we only talked a little bit longer until the end of my shift.

Once my shift was over I made my way back to his room and when I saw his mom and Octavia standing next to him I stopped, I didn't want to interrupt their time together. I started to turn back around but Bellamy must have noticed me because I heard him say, "Hey Clarke come here."

I slowly turned around, "Sorry didn't want to interrupt."

Before I knew what was happening Octavia was running up to me and wrapping her arms around me like a small child. I looked over her shoulder at Bellamy not knowing what was going on.

"I can't believe I'm going to be an aunt." She said a little too loudly.

I was shocked, I hadn't expected him to tell his family especially not while he was still in the hospital.

She finally released me then said "sorry" softly.

I smiled at her then told her "It's alright."

I could tell by the way his mom was looking at me that she wasn't very happy.

"I know this situation isn't idea but I want you to know I didn't ask anything of Bellamy, I just thought he should know and left the rest up to him." I told his mom.

"How are you even sure it's his." Her words stung but I knew that was something that would be brought up until the DNA test was done after she was born.

"Mom." Bellamy was obviously upset at what his mom said.

"It's alright." I assured him "I get that you don't have any reason to believe me but there was only one other option and he was already tested and it confirmed that he wasn't her father so that only left Bellamy, I just didn't know who he was that's why I never contacted him."

I could only imagine what his mom thought about me and I hated that because all I could think is that she wouldn't want anything to do with her grandchild because I'm her mother.

"How did you have the other guy tested already?" She asked.

"I had an amniocentesis done when I was 20 weeks, actually I was planning to give her up for adoption, and I only decided to keep her about a month ago." This was news to Bellamy as well and by the look on his face he wasn't too happy.

"You wasn't going to keep her?" Bellamy looked hurt.

I knew this was going to be a sore subject. "No I didn't think I was ready to be a single mother, I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to give her what she needed, I had no family here, no one to help me but something changed in me, I couldn't stand the thought of having this child and not raising her, not hearing her first words, not seeing her first steps. I knew I couldn't give her up and once I talked to my mom about it she and my step-dad decided to move here to help me out when I needed it."

"You was going to do this without even giving me the chance to know about my child." Bellamy was a lot more upset then I imagined.

"I didn't know who you were Bellamy, I didn't even know what your name was, how was I supposed to tell you? If you wouldn't have come here you still wouldn't know." I didn't like seeing him upset.

"If you really wanted me to know you would have found a way to find me." His words hurt me.

"I tried what I could I'm sorry you feel differently about that." I knew this conversation wasn't good for either of us. "But I'm going to go you all have a good night."

I felt the tears building up in my eyes as I walked through the halls of the hospital. I tried to keep it together until I got to my car but by the time I made it I couldn't hold it in anymore. I was sobbing like a baby.


	11. Chapter 11

_Well was planning on only uploading one chapter today but felt like one more wouldn't hurt :D_

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Chapter 11

I was sitting at my table eating some chocolate ice cream from the container, I had been depressed since I got home from the hospital. I hate that I let Bellamy down, he had been so great since he learned of my pregnancy but I let him down and I knew that.

I heard my phone going off but I had been ignoring it. It was sitting over on the couch and I hated to admit but I was too lazy to get up and get it. It wasn't until it started ringing that I finally decided I needed to go answer it. When I reached my phone I couldn't believe it, Bellamy was calling me.

 _-Hello_

 _-Are you ignoring me?_

 _-What?_

 _-I've been texting you_

 _-Shit I'm sorry my phone was on the couch and I was in the kitchen eating_

 _-Uha_

 _-Why would I lie?_

 _-I don't know maybe because you're pissed at me for being such an ass_

 _-You had every right to be mad_

 _-No I didn't, I was only thinking of myself, not everything that you've been through up until now_

 _-You were right though, I should have looked harder when I found out Finn wasn't her father_

 _-But I think it would have been easier if it was just you but now you have to include me and my family_

 _-I actually don't mind that, you have no idea how much of a daddy's girl I was and I couldn't imagine my daughter growing up without having a father, someone she can share that connection with_

 _-Was a daddy's girl but not anymore? You too old now Princess?_

 _-Actually my dad passed away a while ago_

 _-I'm sorry I didn't know_

 _-It's alright, I took it hard when it first happened but I've been able to move past it_

 _-At least you got to know your dad_

 _-You don't know yours?_

 _-Nope never even got to meet him_

 _-That sucks, I wouldn't give up my time with my dad for anything_

 _-I'd give anything to know mine, I've tried to ask about him but my mom wouldn't give me any information_

 _-Maybe there's a good reason?_

 _-I wouldn't know_

 _-Well I'm sorry_

 _-No reason to apologize_

 _-I wanted to ask you something_

 _-Well go on and ask_

 _-Would you like to help me pick out her name? She is just as much yours as she is mine and I'd like for this to be something that we do together_

 _-Of course I'd like to, how about we jot some names down tonight and compare them tomorrow?_

 _-I like that and it would be a good way to see if we think alike at all_

I stayed up longer that night talking to Bellamy than I should have. I ended up not getting to bed until after 2am and having to be at work at 7 only left me with a few hours to sleep. Needless to say when I woke up the next morning I was beyond tired but I still drug myself out of bed excited to spend the day with Bellamy.

I got clocked in just seconds before I would be considered late and went straight to Bellamy's room not even paying attention that he was no longer on my list. When I got to his room my heart sank, his stuff was all packed up and he was no longer there. His stuff was still there but he wasn't. I heard the toilet flush and I felt my heart speedup, I hope I made it before he left. He walked out of his room all dressed up looking so much better than I remembered.

I smiled immediately the moment I saw him. "I thought you were already gone."

"Want the truth? They tried to get me to leave earlier but I stalled so I could see you before I left." He shared my smile.

"Aww" was the only thing I could think to say.

"But you know the drill I'll need my nurse to personally deliver me to my vehicle so at least that'll give us a little more time together." He said.

"This kind of sucks we won't be able to go over the baby names." I was seriously sad about that, we didn't have much longer to decide.

"How about we just swap papers and see what we think of the others choices." He suggested.

I shrugged my shoulders, "I would have preferred to go over them together but I guess that'll have to do."

"Well there is one other choice, you could swing by my place after work, and we could go over it then." It was obvious that he wasn't sure about even bringing it up.

"Do you think that's a good idea? What does Gina think about all of this? And how would she feel about me coming to your house?" I honestly thought it might start problems.

Bellamy took a deep breath, "Actually we broke up."

I hadn't expected that, "When?"

"After I found out about the baby." His admission shocked me, I had no idea.

"Bellamy why didn't you tell me, you must be hurting, I'm sorry." I felt like I might have ruined things for him.

"No need to apologize, we started having problems after I got shot, she wasn't handling it very well then when I told her about you well let's just say that was the icing on the cake, I suggested that we should take some time apart, she wasn't too happy about it but it's what I needed." He didn't seem to upset about it.

"I didn't mean to mess everything up for you." I said sadly.

He started walking toward me, "Don't think like that Clarke, you have done nothing but make me one of the happiest men alive."

"How? I come into your life after having just one night together telling you you're going to be a father, your mom obviously can't stand me, you and your girlfriend broke up, I don't think I've done much good here." I couldn't help but think I've done nothing but make his life a little worse.

"Honestly I didn't know if I ever wanted children but I'm not getting any younger and it seemed like no matter who I dated it never lasted and I could never imagine having kids with any of these women but then you come around and you're already pregnant with my child, my daughter, our daughter." He took ahold of my hands "I know were weren't together when it happened and I know we aren't together now but I couldn't imagine having a child with anyone else, it seems like we were meant to meet even if it was just for this reason only."

"I didn't know you felt like this but I have to admit I'm glad you do, it makes doing this that much easier." I slowly took my hands from his, I didn't need him or anyone else getting the wrong idea.

I wasn't looking for anything romantically with Bellamy, that wasn't something I needed right now. I have only been divorced for about a month and a half and I was nowhere near completely over the betrayal from Finn. Anyone I got involved with right now would be nothing but a rebound and since we had a child to worry about I didn't want to do that to her or him. For all I knew there could be something between us but I wouldn't pursue anything anytime soon.


	12. Chapter 12

_I can't say thanks enough to everyone who reviewed, followed & favorited this story... You guys are soooo awesome :)_

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Chapter 12

Bellamy had text me his address as soon as he made it home and got comfortable. He still wasn't fully recovered and wasn't cleared to go back to work yet so he needed to make the most of his time back at his house. As soon as he was gone I found Maya and told her about him being discharged, she obviously knew me better than anyone and knew I was going to have a hard time with him not being here anymore.

It's not like I really knew Bellamy but the last few weeks I had been with him every day for most part of the day. Knowing that I would have to fill my day in on someone who is not him was kind of depressing. I was nervous going to his house after work but at least we wouldn't be alone, Octavia had agreed to stay with him for a while until he was fully back on his feet. Looking at the relationship that he and his sister had really made me wish I would have had a sibling. Siblings seem to have a bond that no one else could.

Maya walked me out to my car, which was something she did every day, she was protective of me and said that anything could happen walking out to my car. I wasn't sure what could happen in the 10 minutes it took to walk from the hospital to the employee parking but I loved her for caring. We stood there talking for a few minutes before I got in my car and headed to the address that Bellamy gave me.

I set my phone to take me to his address then started driving, I noticed that we lived a lot closer than I thought possible. I just assumed that he must have lived out of town since we hadn't run into each other before his accident. As I pulled onto his street, it was hard to not see that it was a very nice neighborhood. The houses weren't huge by any means but they weren't tiny either. I just assumed a single 30 year old police officer would have lived in some kind of apartment building or something, I know I shouldn't have assumed anything.

I sent Bellamy a quick text as I pulled up in his driveway. As I was opening my car door he was opening the front door to the house.

"You find the place easy enough?" He asked me as I was walking toward him.

"Yep actually your only about 10 minutes from me." I told him as I walked inside his house.

I followed him to the living room, he sat in the chair, I sat on the couch.

"Nice house." I wasn't really sure why I blurted that out.

He chuckled, "thanks."

"I gotta say with you living this close I can't believe we hadn't run into each other sooner." I told him my thoughts earlier.

"Actually I've only been here a few months and I've spend the last in the hospital, I was actually transferred it's why I had to move here." As soon as he told me that it made a lot more sense.

"Well I guess everything happened for a reason, even you getting shot." I said behind a smile, letting him know I was teasing.

"Yea and I'd get shot all over again." He played along.

Getting back to a serious note I said, "I know I didn't need you to do this but I have to say knowing that you'll be here makes things a lot better."

"I'm actually glad you said that because there was something I wanted to ask." He paused "Can she have my last name?"

I haven't ever seen Bellamy as nervous as he was right then, I actually hadn't even thought about the last name until then. I just assumed that she would take mine until the DNA test came back and then talk about it then. "Are you sure you want to do that?"

Bellamy's face lit up "Of course I do, Clarke I don't care what anyone else thinks I know this is my child, my mom doesn't agree with my decision but I'd really like for her to be born a Blake."

I couldn't help but smile at the thought that he really had thought this though and had even talked to his mom about it. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

The smile that crossed Bellamy's face at that moment was worth any doubt that I could have had about her not having my last name. If he hadn't shown any interest in being a father than I would have given her my last name but because he has shown how much a part of her life he wanted to be, I would give this to him.

"Alright so are we ready to start throwing around idea's about her first name now?" Bellamy asked.

"I think so." I couldn't help but laugh a little.

He gave a sheepish look, "honestly I don't have much but I was hoping once we started talking things might come up."

I laughed again pulling the list out of my purse. I sat the paper on the table and looked up at Bellamy, I had a whole sheet of paper with names scribbled on the front and back. They weren't all names that I really really liked or anything they were just names that I didn't hate.

"Wow well I guess you've had awhile to think about this." He finally said looking over the many names.

He handed me a sheet of paper that had only about five names written on it, I couldn't help but notice that all five of his names were also on my list.

"Can I mark out the ones that I really don't like?" He said obviously not caring for a few of my names.

"Sure."

As he started marking names out I walked behind him and watched over his shoulder to see what he was marking out. Name after name kept getting eliminated. When he was finished going over it the first time it was down to about ten names and after looking at what was left I was alright with the decision. I took the pad of paper his list was in and ripped out a piece of paper then rewrote the names we had so far.

I separated the names into two separate columns "This row is what I like for first names and this one for middle names?"

He skimmed through them again and nodded in agreement.

"Alright there is one name that I want to ask about." He said as he pointed to one that I honestly hadn't expected him to keep to begin with.

"What about it?" I asked.

"What does it mean exactly?" He looked curious.

"Well it's actually a flower, it kind of resembles a lily." I continued "It means fresh and sparkle in Greek, that's kind of how the flower got the name and I just figured it's like a fresh beginning."

"I actually really like it." Bellamy admitted "It's different."

"I thought you might appreciate the different part." I laughed "Bellamy and Octavia both pretty different names."

He laughed "What you don't like our names?"

Since I was still standing behind him I wrapped my arms him and said "Actually I really like both of your names."

He lifted his hands and took mine in his. "So we have a name?"

"Almost still need a middle name." I told him trying to not let my voice show how nervous I just became.

He turned so we were face to face. "How about Amaryllis Dawn Blake?"

"I love it." I said as I wrapped my arms around Bellamy in a hug this time.

* * *

 _Soooo it took me awhile to find a name that I felt fit, I was really trying to go with something that meant new beginning or something like that but couldn't really find what I was looking for. Butttt I came across Amaryllis and for some reason really liked it and its so different... So I hope you all don't hate the name!_


	13. Chapter 13

_Well I wanted to thank each of you who reviewed after last chapter and the new favorited/follwers, so I figured the best way to do it is to post some more chapters :)_

 _Enjoy!_

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Chapter 13

The last few weeks had gone by so fast I couldn't believe that in less than two weeks I would be a new mother. My mom and Marcus got into town a little over a week ago and had just finished getting settled into their new home, I wanted to introduce them to Bellamy so I invited them all to dinner. I wasn't the best cook but with me and my mom together I knew we could cook up a decent meal. Bellamy had been to my house a few times now just helping me get Amaryllis's room ready but for some reason this seemed so much more personal.

I was nervous and my mom caught onto it right away. "You care for him don't you?"

Her question caught me off guard, "What?"

"This Bellamy, you like him." She told me this time not asked.

"How could I not? When I saw him that day in the hospital I never expected he would want a part in her life, I just figured I'd tell him and he'd brush me off." I paused "But nothing went the way I expected, he was so much different than I thought he'd be, he is genuinely a good guy."

"Just don't do anything that could change that, you two haven't known each other for that long and you wouldn't want to do anything that could risk your daughter having a wonderful father in her life." She sighed "All I'm saying is really get to know him before you try anything."

"You don't have to worry, I'm not ready for another relationship. I had been with Finn for almost 10 years and I know even though I feel happy right now I'm still broken inside, it's going to take a while to heal and I know that." I assured her.

She hugged me "I just didn't want to see you get hurt again."

"I know your just trying to look out for me but I've grown a lot especially in the last 8 ½ months." I needed my mom to see me as a self-sufficient woman, I could take care of myself.

"You really have." A small smile crept up on her face as she placed a hand on my stomach "You have really grown in 8 ½ months."

I laughed so hard, I hadn't even thought of that when I said it. I was just meaning that the pregnancy has made me see things completely different and that it's made me grow into a stronger independent woman. That's one of the things I missed about having my mom around she could always make me laugh, even if she didn't mean to. She was all I had left for my family and now I know that I should have never moved away from them. I was just so focused on getting Finn away from Raven that I never took the time to really think about all that I left behind.

When the doorbell rang, I stiffened, my nerves were back. My mom looked at me then laughed again. I shook my head then walked to the door, taking a deep breath and opening it. The moment I saw Bellamy standing there I couldn't take my eyes off him, he had dressed up and I had to admit I never seen him look so good. As soon as I realized I stared for a little too long I asked him inside but I couldn't miss the slight curve of his lips that told me I wasn't the only one who realized I was staring. We walked side by side until we reached the kitchen where Marcus had joined my mom.

"Bellamy this is my mom Abby and her husband Marcus." I introduced them "And obviously this is Bellamy."

"It's nice to meet you." Bellamy said as he shook Marcus's hand and attempted the same with my mom but she wasn't having any part of that, she pulled him in for a full hug. I couldn't help but laugh.

Dinner went so much better than I could have imagined, Bell really got along with both my mom and Marcus. I wasn't too sure how it would all go over, I knew how protective my mom was and after everything that happened she wanted to make sure I didn't get hurt again. I knew the moment my mom started approving of Bellamy, I knew that her you're not ready speech was still active but at least it lets me know she would approve if one day we did decide to see there is something between us.

We all sat around for a few hours just talking and really having a good time. My mom had actually told me that she would be starting at the same hospital that I work at in a couple weeks. She wasn't an ER nurse like me, she actually was a surgeon so we would be working in two separate parts of the hospital. My mom and Marcus had left after about two hours which left me and Bellamy, I was glad he decided to stick around for a little while longer because I wasn't ready to go to bed yet. We ended up deciding on watching a movie, we fought a little on what we were going to watch but finally agreed on something.

About halfway through the movie I felt myself starting to get tired but I pushed to keep myself awake. I thought I was doing a good job of staying awake until I opened my eyes another time and realized the TV was no longer on and Bellamy was no longer sitting next to me. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock, it said 4:15am. I stretched then stood up and started walking to my room but as I started walking past Amaryllis's room I stopped. Bellamy was sound asleep on the floor, I just stared at him for a moment, now I felt even worse about falling asleep.

I walked into the room calling his name hoping he was a light sleeper. But I had no such luck, he didn't budge. So I sat down next to him and lightly shook him, over and over again, he still didn't budge. I couldn't help but laugh I had never met someone who was such a heavy sleeper and working in the hospital I had been around a lot of people sleeping. I was planning on getting him to move to the couch but when I had no luck waking him I just grabbed him a couple blankets and brought them back. My plan was to just cover him then go back to bed but my plan changed when I saw how peaceful he looked laying there in our daughters room so I figured if he was going to sleep in her room then I would to. I tossed a pillow down next to his head and crawled my very pregnant self up next to him, pulling a blanket over myself as well.

When I woke up the next morning I was more uncomfortable than I had been in a long time. Sleeping on the floor was not recommended for women as pregnant as I was. I started to move before I felt the arm around me, his arm. I felt my back pressed up against his chest and his steady breathing on the back of my head. Right then it didn't matter how uncomfortable I was I didn't want to move, I actually moved back the little bit of space that we had between us and took his hand in mine. I knew I shouldn't have because it confused things but since I was supposed to be sleeping all I had to do was blame it on that.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

When Bellamy woke up the next morning he was confused, he didn't understand why I would leave the couch and go sleep on the floor. My excuse was that if he was sleeping in our daughter's room it would have only made sense if I was in there to. He smiled at my response, in all reality I couldn't tell him the real reason I was in there because I didn't know, I guess I just wanted to be close to him.

Bellamy had started back work that week, I didn't say anything but I kind of hoped that he could have waited until after I had Amaryllis but it wasn't like I could really ask him to do that. Honestly I had gotten so used to him being around whenever I needed him this last month and a half I knew I really didn't want him to go back because I'd miss him it had nothing to do with being scared about the pregnancy or anything.

My mom, Maya and even Octavia made it their mission to have someone with me pretty much all the time, being less than two weeks until my due date we all knew that I could go at any time. I had stopped working a few days ago and decided since I didn't have long until I was going to be a mom that I wanted to go out and do stuff. I knew there wasn't much to do but I could go out and eat at a restaurant, go to a movie, I could even go out to a club even though I wouldn't be drinking. That was exactly what I talked Octavia and Maya to do with me, that weekend they were taking me out for a girl's night out. I would have about a week before my due date so I wanted to take the whole weekend and just have some fun.

Maya was a little harder to convince than Octavia, but I knew that was just because she was looking out for me. She ended up surprising us with a suite in a hotel that had its own spa and its own nightclub. It's why she was my best friend she knew exactly what I needed. Me and Octavia followed Maya to our room, when she opened the door I looked around in awe, it was absolutely beautiful. The wall was made of mostly windows and you could see the city below us, we weren't all the way up but being on the 10th floor we still got a pretty good view. It also had two attached bedrooms and a pullout couch, each of them argued about who would take the pullout couch, because they both wanted to seem like the better person.

"Hey how about this you each can have a room and I'll take the couch." I told them.

They both started telling me no at the same time. Finally Maya agreed to take the other room since she did pay for the room. It was funny to see how they got along so well, it seemed like Octavia had been around us forever.

Even though I was having a great time with the girls I couldn't help but text with Bellamy the entire time. I never knew having a spa day could be so relaxing but being almost 9 months pregnant it did just what it was supposed to. I attempted to go to the nightclub with the girls later that night but was unsuccessful at having a good time. When I told them I was going back to the room they both tried to come back with me but I pretty much forced them to stay. As I walked back to the room I sent Bellamy another text letting him know what I was doing.

About 20 minutes later there was a knock on the door, I figured it was either Maya or Octavia and they couldn't find their key. But was surprised to find Bellamy standing there.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him surprised.

"Thought you could use some company since they probably won't be back for a while." He said with a smile.

"You didn't have to, I was actually just lying in my room watching some TV." I was happier than I was letting on that he came to see me.

His face fell, "well I can go."

I grabbed ahold of his hand "You don't have to, I wouldn't mind a buddy to watch TV with me."

"Thanks Princess." By his face he knew exactly what he had to do to get me to agree to let him stay.

It wasn't until we were in the bedroom getting ready to sit down that realized we were still holding hands. I let go as I climbed back into the bed feeling my heart accelerate as he sat next to me. I didn't say anything just turned the volume up a little and tried to concentrate on what we were watching. Our backs were to the wall and because the size of the bed we were sitting so close that you couldn't even fit a finger between us. I knew I was tense but I hadn't realized it was as obvious as it was.

"You know I won't bite right?" He said with a playful smile.

"I don't know about that." I answered automatically.

He smirked "Well unless you like that kind of thing."

"I might." I joked.

Finally I started loosen up some. He pretended like he was going to bite me and somehow in all of my squirming he ended up with his mouth on my neck. At first he was all play and was still 'in character' and was pretending that he was biting down but that switched quickly and I felt the tender touch of his lips against my neck. I felt the moment it all changed and I knew I should have stopped it but I didn't, having him this close to me, touching me felt so good. It had been awhile since I have been in a situation like this and I knew that was why I had let it continue as long as I had. I had my hands in his hair, praying he wouldn't stop but hoping he would. He began moving from my neck kissing a trail almost making it to my mouth but he backed away right before our lips touched.

I knew his feelings were mirroring my own, he wanted this to happen but knew it shouldn't. He slowly moved further away from me then sat at the end of the bed so that we were no longer touching at all. He hung his head and said softly, "sorry."

I took a deep breath and when I knew I had my voice I stepped off the side of the bed around it so I could look at Bellamy face to face. I crouched down in front of him the best I could.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, we got a little carried away and sometimes that happens." I told him so he wouldn't be beating himself up about this.

He looked me straight in the eyes, "I have a confession to make, I came here tonight hoping something would happen."

His admission threw me, "what?"

"Clarke I have wanted nothing more than to kiss you again since the day we conceived that little girl." His voice was full of emotions.

"I had no idea… Is that the only reason you wanted to be part of her life?" I didn't know what to think about this.

"Of course not, did I hope in the back of my mind that one day it might happen." He nodded "I can't pretend that the thought hadn't crossed my mind, especially when I saw how you lit up every time you were around me, I knew this wasn't one sided."

I sat down next to him, "I can't tell you that I haven't felt something here because I have but Bellamy I just got out of a marriage, I know that Finn and I have been separated for almost 9 months but I can't have you be a rebound Bell you're too important for that."

"I don't want to be your rebound Princess I want to be the man that you'll spend the rest of your life with." He just kept surprising me more and more.

I honestly didn't know how to respond to that, I did care for him but it wasn't like that and I didn't want to say the wrong thing and have him upset with me. I couldn't understand how he could feel that way when we've only really known each other for a couple months.

* * *

 _Sooo whatcha think? I know there had been little things between them since they met in the hospital but this was the first real thing to actual happen. There wasn't an actual kiss but it was sooo close! And Bellamy finally admitted that he wanted something more, now Clarke just needs to get there :)_


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

After the awkward conversation at the hotel Bellamy had been kind of distant which I really didn't want since I was actually due in a day. I tried my hardest to make sure I didn't hurt his feelings but I needed him to know that I wasn't ready to move on with anyone yet. Finn broke me and it was going to take a lot of time to heal. I also thought with getting ready to become a mother I didn't need to be starting any kind of relationship, not even with her father. He wasn't avoiding me by any means we still had our daily conversations but they were just off, he didn't seem like he was himself.

My mom had decided to stay with me until I went into labor, she didn't think it was a good idea to be home alone. I enjoyed having her company but I knew she wasn't the one I wanted there. Bellamy called and checked on me before he went into work which was hours ago now, I tried to feel happy but my mom knew something was up.

"You wanna talk about it?" She asked me out of the blue.

"Not really." I responded quickly. Then slowly said "Maybe."

She wrapped her arms around me, "What's going on?"

I sighed "Something almost happened between me and Bellamy and things have been really weird since."

"What do you mean by something almost happened?" My mom said confused.

"We almost kissed and I would have let it happen if he wouldn't have stopped it." I didn't want to go into details with her "But then afterwards he started going on about how he really cares for me and he wants to be the man I spend the rest of my life with, it scared me, it's too soon, isn't it?"

"Clarke only you will know when you feel comfortable to move on, you spent a huge portion of your life tied down to Finn, you need to make sure if you decide to try it with Bellamy it's for the right reason and not because you're afraid to be alone." I knew talking to my mom would be a good idea, she always knew what to say.

"Thanks mom" I hugged her again "I'm just so afraid I'm going to do something I'll regret, I don't want to mess this up with Bellamy."

"You're a strong woman Clarke I believe you can do anything you set your mind to, so if you know it's not the right time, then wait." She said it like it was an easy task.

"I'll try." That was all I could do.

I was now more than a week overdue and more miserable than I ever thought possible. I was so uncomfortable, I didn't get much sleep at night because all I did was toss and turn. Everyone was trying to do whatever possible to make me comfortable but nothing was working. I knew the only think that would help would be to have this baby, she just seemed like she was everywhere.

I knew all my friends were beyond ready for me to go into labor. I had been so short tempered this last week I honestly think I had yelled at every single person I had contact with at least once. I hoped everyone would forgive me once I had the baby but right now I really didn't care. I had to be at the doctor in about 20 minutes, I was just waiting on Bellamy to get there to pick me up. This would be the last appointment I would have, if I still haven't shown any progress then I would be set up to be induced at this appointment.

When I finally heard him pull up I told my mom bye and walked out of the house not letting him get out of the car. Once I sat down I said "Think you could have cut it any closer?"

He looked at my in disbelief. "You knew I had things to do, you're the one that told me it didn't matter and to get here whenever I could."

"Well I didn't think it would be this close." I knew I sounded like an ass but I didn't want to be late to my appointment.

We didn't talk the rest of the way to the hospital or the entire time we waited to be called back. When they finally called me back I was relieved, the silence was killing me.

"So how are you feeling Ms. Griffin?" My doctor asked as we walked into the room.

"Just wonderful." I said sarcastically.

Bellamy chuckled "She's been like this for a little while now."

"Grumpy are we Clarke." She asked sounding like a child.

I didn't give her the satisfaction of answering her.

"So I'm taking it you've been quite uncomfortable here lately?" She asked me seriously.

I just nodded.

"Alright let me go ahead and check you out here." She said as I laid back.

Bellamy took my hand and I didn't fight him on it, it was always pretty uncomfortable when she was checking to see if I had dilated at all. I tighten my hold on his hand when she began.

"Well Clarke there is still no change, so were going to go ahead and schedule to have you induced." She said sounding disappointed.

I looked up at Bellamy who was already staring at me. I held the contact for a few moments before looking away.

"So when we going to do this." I asked her.

"How about Thursday?" She said looking to both me and Bellamy.

That was only 3 days away, I was expecting a whole week or something close to it.

"What do you think Clarke?" Bellamy asked.

"The sooner the better right?" I said trying to hide my nervousness.

"Well just be at the hospital around 3pm." She told us while she typed up something on the computer.

As soon as she was done typing she walked out of the room which was our cue that it was time to go. It took me a minute to move, the thought that I would be a mother in just 3 days had just started to hit me and I was getting emotional. I felt Bellamy's arms around me all I could do is lay my head on his shoulder.

"Were going to be parents in just 3 days Bell." I was finally able to get out.

"I know and were going to do great, I know this started off all wrong but I believe in us as parents and I know it'll be hard at times but as long as we have each other we'll get through it." He assured me.

"Bellamy promise me something." I paused "Never leave us."

"You don't have to worry about that, you're stuck with me for life." He didn't hesitate to answer and that was exactly what I needed to hear.


	16. Chapter 16

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed after the last chapter, I really appreciate it!_

* * *

Chapter 16

Before I knew it Thursday was there and we were on the way to the hospital. Bellamy had switched his schedule around so he was working an early shift but wouldn't be off for a couple more hours so my mom was driving me. I hated that he wouldn't be there through the entire process with me but I knew with him being off the two weeks so he can help me out he needed to finish his shift today. I was also informed that just because I was being induced today, didn't mean I was going to be having her today. My mom said with this being my first child that it'll probably take at least 24 hours.

I had just got all set up when I saw Octavia walking through the door. She smiled at me "I hope you don't mind that I came this early."

"Of course I don't, I'm glad you're here." I told her honestly.

When Bellamy finally made it he was surprised to find Octavia there, she must have not told him that she was coming either. He asked how things were going but there was nothing to tell I still hadn't advanced in the 3 hours I had been there. By the time Maya got there my mom excused herself so it just left the four of us. I knew there wasn't much to do but they were good sports and somehow we all stayed pretty entertained.

Hour and hour passed with no change, I was starting to get worried but they said it was nothing to worry about. Finally the next morning I started feeling the contractions, I knew I wanted it to progress but once the contractions came they came hard. I hadn't decided if I was going to get an epidural yet but I knew if the pain continued like this I wouldn't be able to hold off on it. Bellamy was by my side from the first contraction, honestly from the amount of pain I was in I really thought I'd be one of them people who would be yelling at the one who got me pregnant but to my surprise I wasn't. Having him close really helped keep me calm, he helped pass the contractions, of course it didn't take the pain away but it helped.

When I was able to get the epidural, I did. I was afraid it would hurt but once the needle went in and I couldn't feel anything but pressure from the contractions I knew I made the right decision. It helped me settle down some, I got a little more sleep, waking each time the doctor came in to check on me.

"Well Clarke it looks like you're getting close." She said with a smile "If there's anyone else you'd like to be here I'd say they need to get here soon."

I looked up at Bellamy knowing he wanted his mom here, she may not be certain that this baby is Bellamy's but we are and I hate that she'll miss the birth of her first grandchild because I'm her mother.

"Can I see your phone?" I asked Bellamy out of the blue.

He gave me a puzzled look after he handed it to me I started going through the contacts and found his moms number and hit call. She answered on the third ring.

 _-Do you know what time it is?_

Clarke actually hadn't thought about the time.

 _-I'm sorry for calling so early_

 _-Who is this?_

 _-Clarke_

 _-What do you want?_

 _-Look I know you don't care for me and I get that but Bellamy's child is about to be born, your grandchild… He won't say it but I know he needs you here, he needs your support, he's about to become a dad Aurora and he needs the guidance of the most important woman in his life._

She was quiet for longer than I would have liked, I really hoped she would come here but it seems like that might not happen.

 _-Aurora_

 _-I'm still here, I just needed to think for a minute… Where are you?_

Excitement coursed through me, I couldn't believe I was able to do this for Bellamy. I told her which hospital I was in and told her to hurry.

As I was handing Bellamy back his phone I said "She's on her way."

His face lit up like I had never seen it before. It was that moment that I realized I was ready to move on from Finn, my heart was no longer broken, it had healed itself with the help of this man. I knew we hadn't known each other for that long but I knew I was falling for him. I knew it was too soon, which was the exact reason I had been so hesitant to let the feelings in. I had only cared for one person romantically and it took over a year to even think of him like that and here I had only really known Bellamy for a few months but I knew with ever fiber in my body that my heart was already his.

I had been so lost in thought I hadn't even realized that he had reached down and was trying to hug me. It wasn't until I heard him whisper "thank you" in my ear that I became aware of the situation. I wrapped my arms around his neck hugging him as well. When he tried to move out of our embrace I stopped him, our faces were only inches apart but I knew what I needed to do. It didn't matter who was in the room to see, it didn't matter what anyone thought except for me and him. I closed the space between us and placed my lips lightly on his, I didn't know how he would react at first but the moment our lips touched I knew everything I felt was mutual. It wasn't a long kiss by any means but it did exactly what it was meant to, it showed Bellamy how I felt. He didn't take his eyes off me as he finally stood back up, I knew we weren't the only ones in the room but it felt like we were.

I knew this was the start of something, it was hard to really know what that was right now but it couldn't have come at a better time. We had already agreed to do this parenting thing together so now we really could do it together, I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I didn't expect it to. I knew that there was something real between us and it didn't matter what would be thrown at us from here on out we could handle it together.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Bellamy's mom had made it just in time. It wasn't no more than 30 minutes from the time we kissed that we welcomed our little girl into the world. Amaryllis Dawn Blake was born at 6:24AM on October 15th and was so much bigger than anyone had expected, she ended up weighing 9 pounds and 3 ounces. Once the labor was finally over and we got to hold her for the first time everything changed, I couldn't take my eyes off her, she was the most precious thing I had ever seen. The few times that I looked over at Bellamy his eyes were glued on her as well. She looked so much like him, she didn't have much hair but it was dark and wavy.

I watched as my mom took her from Bellamy's arms and just looked at her in awe. She walked with her around the room for a little while before she stopped in front of Aurora. She was just staring at the little girl.

"She looks just like Bell did as a baby." Her eyes had started watering.

My mom slowly handed Amaryllis to Aurora, she looked at her with so much love in her eyes. "Hi little girl I'm your grandma."

I felt Bellamy tighten the hold he had on my hand, I knew exactly what he was feeling. This day had turned out better than I could have ever hoped.

I hadn't realized but I must have been exhausted because before I knew it I was out. I wasn't sure how long I slept but when I woke up everyone was gone but Bellamy.

He was sitting next to me holding our daughter, as soon as he realized I was awake he said "I hope you don't mind but I asked them to give you some time to rest."

I smiled at his thoughtfulness "Thank you."

He stood up and brought Amaryllis to me, she was nothing but smiles. He started to hand her to me but I scooted over and patted beside me wanting him to sit with me. I took her from him as he was climbing into the bed. He put his arm around me and I held her between us.

"She looks so much like you." I said to Bellamy.

"I see a lot of you in her to." He replied.

We sat like this for hours, not really saying much just enjoying being near each other. Amaryllis started getting fussy at one point and I knew she was starting to get hungry again. I knew Bellamy was unsure what to do at first since I was breastfeeding but I didn't mind doing it around him, it was a child's natural way of eating. I am a pretty conservative person and I knew I wouldn't be comfortable doing this around just anyone and honestly I didn't know how it would be around him but I just felt so at home around him like I could do anything.

I must have dozed off again because I was awaken by a knock on the door, I looked down in my arms to find my beautiful daughter sleeping peacefully and by the way Bellamy was rubbing his eyes I wasn't the only one who fell asleep.

"Come in." I finally said.

The last person I ever expected to walk through that door did and my heart sank, I hadn't seen Finn since our divorce. He looked good, a lot better than he had the last time I saw him, maybe he and Raven were meant to be together after all. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Bellamy sitting next to me, I felt the mood change automatically.

Bellamy looked at me to make sure I was alright with him being there once I nodded he said "I'll give you some privacy."

I watched as he walked out of the room slowly closing the door behind him.

Finn didn't say anything he just walked up to the bed and sat in the chair next to it.

"I didn't expect to see you here." I finally said.

"I honestly didn't plan on coming but I knew if I didn't I would regret it, Clarke you've been in my life for way to long for me not to come and congratulate you." He sounded genuine.

"Thank you, that means a lot." I told him honestly.

He stood up and looked at Amaryllis "She's beautiful."

"You want to hold her?" I didn't only shock him when I asked.

"Are you sure that's alright?" He asked unsure.

"Yea." I smiled.

He bend down and slowly took her from my arms. I watched as he rocked her just the right amount and talked to her like she was his own. I knew he would make a great father one day, I was sad the day I found out that she wasn't his but I wouldn't have had it any other way. I am really starting to believe the whole everything happens for a reason statement. If Finn wouldn't have cheated on me that night with Raven I would have never met Bellamy and never had this precious little girl.

He finally handed her back to me. "Motherhood suits you, you look great, hard to imagine that you just had a baby."

"You look really good to, you seem like you're happy." I said cautiously hoping I wasn't pushing the limits.

"I am" he paused "I'm not seeing Raven anymore, I realized a little too late that she was never what I was looking for."

"I hope that one day you'll find that." I told him truthfully.

"I think I will." He said confidently then said "So Bellamy Blake huh?"

I couldn't help but blush when he said his name, I just nodded.

"So he was the guy from the party?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yea he ended up coming into the hospital a couple months ago." I told him.

"I'm surprised that you'd be with him though because of Raven." He said like I knew what he was talking about.

"What about Raven?" I didn't like where this was going.

"You don't know?" He looked surprised.

"Know what?" I was starting to get a little worked up.

"It's not my place, ask him…" He sighed "If he won't tell you then I will but give him the chance."

I just looked at Finn, this was not something I wanted to think about right now. Everything had finally started looking up for me, I didn't want to think about Raven being inserted into another one of my relationships.

"I promise you I wouldn't have brought it up if I would have thought for a second that you didn't know." I don't know what it was but I really believed he meant it.

Finn didn't stay much longer after that but once he was gone all I could think about was how Bellamy was somehow connected to Raven as well.


	18. Chapter 18

_Thank you, you lovely, lovely people lol :)_

 _This chapter is a little shorter so I will be updating with 2 chapters tonight! Enjoy!_

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Chapter 18

After Finn left the hospital my mood had obviously changed. I didn't say anything to Bellamy I figured that was a conversation that could wait until we got out of the hospital. I tried to act as normal as I could but he knew something was different, he knew something happened when Finn was there he just didn't have any idea what it was. I knew he was probably thinking something completely different than what had actually happened but I was going to make him wait. I know I was doing the exact same thing though, I was just guessing what the connection between Bellamy and Raven was. I couldn't help but think the worst possible things and it was tearing me up inside.

When we were released from the hospital, we went back to my house, my mom had offered to stay but I turned her down. Bellamy had decided to stay for the two weeks that he was off work and we really needed to have a conversation so I didn't need anyone else around.

Amaryllis had finally laid down for a nap, I knew it would be a change for her being here instead of the hospital. We walked together out of her room and into the living room. He sat down then looked up at me, "So you going to tell me what's going on?"

I took a deep breath and then sat next to him. "Have you been keeping something from me?"

He looked completely confused, "What?"

I felt the tears creeping up in my eyes, I repeated "Have you been keeping something from me that you really shouldn't have?"

It was obvious the moment it hit him what I was talking about. "You mean Raven?"

I looked at him in disbelief, he had never even mentioned that he knew her before.

"I'm sorry Clarke, I kept telling myself that I would tell you but it never seemed like it was the right time, I knew I was falling for you pretty quickly and I was so afraid that if you knew you wouldn't let yourself move on with me." I could hear the sorrow in his voice.

"Tell me what Bellamy, I don't even know what happened between you and Raven, Finn didn't tell me anything he said it wasn't his place." I knew I sounded bitchy.

Bellamy finally looked at me, "I was dating Raven, I actually came to your party with her, I just didn't know that she was there to meet up with Finn."

"Wait a minute, you and Raven were dating when we…" It was taking me a minute to process this.

He nodded "I knew about her past with Finn and when I saw you and you told me what you saw I wanted her to pay just as much as you wanted Finn to pay, it's why I didn't turn you away."

I started replaying that night and for the first time I realized I never even paid attention to his reaction when I told him about seeing Finn and Raven together. Then I started putting two and two together like how Octavia had known Raven and how she had known about the ongoing affair.

"You should have told me." I stated.

"I know, I planned on it before anything actually happened between us again." He paused "I didn't expect you to kiss me at the hospital but I knew that wasn't the right place."

"So you knew right who I was then?" I asked knowing he must have.

He nodded.

My brain was all over the place but I knew what my heart wanted, I slowly took my hand and intertwined our fingers. "Have you been with her since that night?"

"No and since I'm being honest here it was actually because of her that I ended up putting in for a transfer, I needed a new start." He said softly.

Again I started thinking about the saying, things happen for a reason. Now that I was sitting here thinking about it, Bellamy and I were pretty much pushed together because of Raven and Finn. If it wouldn't have been for the two of them who knows if we would have ever met.

"Well I guess I should thank Raven then." I said surprising not only Bellamy but myself as well.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." He said genuinely.

"Actually it's really ok." I paused "Let's just promise each other from here on out we won't keep things from each other, if we want this to work we have to be open and honest."

He just nodded.

I moved a little closer to him and sat my head on his shoulder, he put his arm around me and just held me. I knew I really cared for Bellamy but I wanted to make sure we did this the right way and not rush this. I knew with him staying here the next 2 weeks things were going to change between us and I hoped it was for the better. I must have been really sleepy because I ended up falling asleep and only waking up when I heard Amaryllis, I rubbed my eyes and couldn't help but smile when I saw Bellamy holding her. I hadn't even heard her crying but she must have since Bellamy went and got her.

"When did she get up?" I asked rubbing my eyes.

"Actually just a few minutes ago, I was waiting to wake you until she was ready to eat." Bellamy said not taking his eyes off our daughter.

I couldn't help but just watch them, he was such a natural. I didn't know what the future held for us but I was willing to wait and see.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

The two weeks that Bellamy stayed with me came and went quicker than I would have liked but just as planned he went back home. I kind of hoped he would have stayed a little longer but I knew he had to get back to his life, which involved his own house. I had also hoped by now we would have figured out this thing between us as well. It was obvious that we both cared for each other but I was so afraid that the feelings had to do with us having a child together and until I was completely sure I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize what we did have.

Over the next 6 weeks we were on a schedule, Bellamy would work mornings and be off by 5pm then after going home showering, changing etc. he would come to my house and spend the rest the evening with me and Amaryllis. Usually he was off two days a week so he would spend those two days with us as well, I felt like we were a couple but we weren't.

I was getting ready to start back at the hospital but really wasn't ready yet. I wasn't ready to leave my little girl for hours at a time, the hospital said they would work with me and I would be coming back working just 8 hour shifts instead of 10. I was glad I had a support system though, between Bellamy, Octavia and my mom I wouldn't have to pay some stranger to watch my daughter.

Since my first day back just happened to be one of Bellamy's off days he and Octavia were going to be the first to watch her. He knew exactly how I felt about leaving her. So he was trying to comfort me.

"Hey you know we'll be right here, you can call anytime you need to." Bellamy assured me.

I couldn't help but smile at him, "I don't know why I'm freaking out so much, I know you two will take really good care of her."

"You're a mom leaving her baby for the first time, of course you're going to freak out, it wouldn't matter who had her." Octavia interrupted us.

I laughed "You a correct O."

Finally after them pretty much pushing me out the door I made my way to the hospital. I was happy that me and Maya were working together today, at least that would make my first day back a little better. As I walked into the locker room by looking at Maya's face I knew something was wrong.

"Hey what's going on?" I asked her.

She sighed "I really don't want to tell you but I don't want it to take you by surprise."

"Huh?" I asked her confused.

"Raven is in the ER, she got here about an hour ago." By the way she looked at me I could tell she expected me to get upset.

"Is that it? That really doesn't bother me." I told her and it was the truth, I may have had a hate for this girl for a lot of years but not anymore.

"Are you serious?" Maya wasn't sure if she should believe me and she had every right to be unsure, she has been around through it all so she knows exactly how I felt about her.

I nodded, "I have nothing to hate her for anymore."

I knew hearing that surprised Maya but not as much as it did me, it wasn't until that moment that I realized that that was the truth. Raven was a part of my past that it seemed like I could never get away from but now that I've moved on from the problem, I realized that the thought of Raven no longer haunts my mind.

"Actually it might be a good time to actually talk to her…" I paused for a minute "Well that's if she's up to it, we are at a hospital and she's currently a patient so obviously she's here for a reason."

Maya was just staring at me "You've changed."

"I've grown up." I stated.

Maya just nodded in agreement.

I didn't go out of my way to talk to Raven but when I noticed that she would be one of my patients I decided I would give her the option, if she wanted to talk then we could. I took a deep breath before I entered her room, trying to put on the most inviting smile I could as I went in.

As soon as she saw me she said, "You've got to be kidding me."

"It's nice to see you to Raven." I said as I walked up to her to check her vitals.

"Isn't this a conflict of interest or something?" Raven obviously was not happy about me being her nurse.

"If you want I can ask them to assign someone else to you but Raven there is no longer a conflict between us." I told her honestly and hoped she believed me.

She just stared at me for about a full minute before she asked "You know about Bellamy right?"

Even though I didn't like the fact that he had also dated Raven it didn't bother me "Yea I know about your past with him."

"Don't that piss you off?" She looked at me with a puzzled expression.

I shook my head "You would think it would but honestly I feel like your no threat to me with him, I feel Finn never had his closure with you its why he kept going back but Bellamy and I both had closure with you two on the same night."

"I have been wondering something and never thought I'd have the opportunity to ask you so I'm going to go on with it and ask since this will probably be the only chance I have." Raven hesitated before asking "Did you know who Bellamy was that night?"

"No" I told her "Honestly if I would have known it would have changed nothing, I would have done it out of spite."

"He knew who you were." I knew she was trying to piss me off.

"Oh I know, it's what made the decision for him because I told him about walking in on you two." I didn't know why I was actually explaining things to her.

"He really told you about all that?" Raven seemed surprised.

"Yep we may not have started out the most honest way but were working on it." I wasn't sure what came over me but I sat on the bed next to her.

"You really do care for him, don't you?" She once again seemed surprised.

"Yea we have a special kind of bond that can't be broken…" I looked over at her "You were lucky to have someone like him, why'd you mess it up?"

"Thought I was in love." She said looking down at her hands. "Clarke I'm sorry about what I did."

That took me by surprise I never expected to hear them words from Raven. I knew she had to know she was wrong but I never figured she'd admit that to me and apologizing was doing just that admitting that she was wrong.


	20. Chapter 20

_Thanks for the reviews and thanks to my new readers who favorited and followed this!_

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Chapter 20

My first day back to work went so much better than I could have imagined. I couldn't believe that Raven and I actually had a conversation and a good one at that. I wouldn't say we were friendly or anything but I think the loathing that we once shared for each other was finally gone. I couldn't wait to share what happened once I got home and couldn't hide the disappointment when I got there and Octavia was the only one still there.

"Where'd Bell go?" I asked as soon as I walked in the door after not seeing his car in the driveway.

"Actually I'm not sure." Octavia actually looked kind of worried "He got a phone call about 30 minutes ago and said he had to go."

"That's weird, I can't believe that he'd leave Amaryllis like that." I knew that Octavia was there to but it wasn't like him.

"My thoughts exactly, he hadn't put her down until he got the call." She paused "He seemed different afterward."

"You have any idea who it was?" I had to ask.

She shook her head "But it did seem like someone he hadn't talked to in a while, almost seemed like he really hadn't expected to hear from them again."

Every possible situation was going through my head right now not knowing why he'd just take off like that. I kept going back and forth wondering if it was a personal call or if it had to do with his job, either way freaked me out, but in different ways.

Octavia stayed around for about an hour after I got home, after I assured her that I would be alright she left. I couldn't help but send Bellamy a text as soon as Octavia was gone.

 _Just wanted to make sure everything was alright._

I didn't get a text back which honestly I expected, if the call was important than he was probably still with whoever it was that called. Of course it upset me some but I figured he'd respond as soon as he could.

That night was the worst since I had brought Amaryllis home from the hospital, I was up and down so much and obviously not in a very good mood since I never heard from Bellamy and she knew it. I was always told that a baby can feel your emotions but I never really believed it until now, I tried to pick my mood back up for her sake but failed miserably. By the time my alarm was going off in the morning I had only gotten a combined 3 hours of sleep, I was so tired and Amaryllis was still fussy. I felt bad even thinking about leaving her with Octavia today because she was in such a bad mood.

As soon as Octavia got there she scooped Amaryllis up in her arms and she was nothing but smiles and coos. I couldn't help but smile at the interaction, Octavia was really good with her.

"So when are you and Lincoln planning to start a family?" I asked her.

"Actually we haven't really talked about it." She said grinning "But between me and you I wouldn't mind starting now and you should know how fun it is trying."

I couldn't help but laugh "Yea I remember even though it's been quite a while."

Octavia gave me a strange look "You mean you and my brother aren't…"

I knew my face was beat red "No were not together so were not doing any of that kind of stuff."

"Hmm I just thought with him staying here those full two weeks and how you two are always together every spare second you have that you were." She shrugged her shoulders.

"So did Bellamy tell you who that was that called yesterday?" I asked trying to change the subject.

Octavia froze and looked like she was debating telling me something.

"I'm not going to like the answer to that am I?" I asked feeling down again.

"Look Clarke it's not my place to tell you." She looked like it was killing her not saying what she really wanted to.

I sighed "I know I shouldn't be putting you in the middle, I'm just kind of worried since he never text me back, can you at least tell me if he's ok."

"Physically yes he's fine, that's about all I can tell you." She made it obvious that she wasn't going to say anymore even though she wanted to.

I just hugged her hoping that she knew I wasn't holding anything against her, I understood that it wasn't her place. If Bellamy wanted to tell me what was going on than he would. I decided to send him another text once I got to my car.

 _Look I know you don't owe me anything but I'd like to hear from you that you're ok, I don't know what's going on but its scaring me a little, I hope you know you can talk to me about anything_

I tossed my phone onto the passenger seat then drove to work, I didn't hear it go off but I checked before heading into the hospital and was glad I did because Bellamy had actually text me back.

 _I'm sorry I didn't text you back yesterday I just have something big going on but I am ok, we will need to talk but I need a few days, I need to figure this out_

I knew by his text that whatever was going on was something personal and if I was being honest with myself I didn't like the sound of it. If it was something he couldn't share with me now that meant that it was probably something I wasn't going to like.

 _No need to apologize, I'm just glad you're alright, whenever you're ready to talk just let me know_

Even though I was scared of whatever he had to tell me, I needed to know. It was obviously bothering him enough that he needed time to think things through before telling me so it's obviously something that will impact both of our lives.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

It had now been 4 days since I saw Bellamy, he would come over while I was working to spend some time with Amaryllis then leave before I got home. I was starting to feel like I did something wrong even though I knew I hadn't. I was letting it get to me more than I should, I knew that but I couldn't help it.

Finally Bellamy text me and asked if he could come by, the baby was sleeping so it was perfect timing. I couldn't help but be nervous even though I knew this was necessary. The moment I heard him pull up in the driveway my heart starting pounding, my hands became shaky. I was more nervous now than I was the day I told him about my pregnancy.

I opened the door for him as he walked up, he walked right past me avoiding eye contact. I knew this was going to be worse than I imagined.

"Would you like something to drink?" I asked trying to make this as less awkward as I possibly could.

"No" He said barley more than a whisper.

I took a deep breath "Bellamy what's going on?"

When he turned and looked at me, my heart sank, he wasn't crying but I could tell he was on the verge. Without even thinking about what I was doing I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in for a hug. I didn't like seeing him upset one bit.

At first he hugged me back and I felt like we might actually be ok but then the moment I felt him stiffen and pull away I knew I was wrong. "I need to tell you something."

"You can tell me anything, I've already told you that." I wanted him to know it didn't matter how bad something may be I would always listen.

"Gina's pregnant." As soon as the words left his mouth I felt my heart breaking, now it all made sense.

Gina was his girlfriend when he was admitted in the hospital, when he found out about me being pregnant. They had pretty much broke up because of him being shot and me being pregnant, she wasn't handling it all very well so he suggested they took sometime apart. From what I knew he hadn't seen her anymore since then.

"What does that mean for us?" I knew up until this point there really hadn't been an us but I knew in my heart one day there would be.

"I'm sorry Clarke." I could tell that his words weren't only hurting me "After a lot of discussion and even more thinking we have decided to give it another shot."

I couldn't speak, I just stared at him in disbelief.

"Please don't be upset with me, this changes nothing between me and Amaryllis, I will be here for her whenever you need me." He sighed "But please Clarke whatever you do, don't shut me out of her life."

I could feel my eyes beginning to water and that was one thing I didn't want, I didn't want to cry in front of him. When I finally found my voice I said "I would never do that, every child needs their father."

"Thank you this is already hard enough, I couldn't imagine what I would do if you tried to take her away from me as well." Bellamy was upset and in my opinion this wasn't what he really wanted.

"I could never do anything like that, I once told you how important the father/daughter bond was to me and that still stands, it doesn't matter if were together or not." I took a deep breath "As long as you want to be in her life, I have no problem with it, but the moment you put your new child before her then we'll have problems, they will both be your children and I expect them to be treated as equals."

"I would never…" Bellamy started.

"You would never mean to but I've had experiences where the other child gets left out because they're not a part of their new family, all I ask is don't break her heart." I needed him to know that I wasn't messing around. I cared for Bellamy more than I thought was possible at this point, I just didn't want him breaking her heart like he was currently doing to me.

"You have to trust me, I would never do anything to hurt her, I love her more than I thought was humanly possible." I knew he was being completely honest, I knew the way he felt I saw it every time he looked at her.

"Good." I tried to laugh.

Bellamy left pretty quickly after our chat and as soon as he did all the emotions hit me at once. I knew I couldn't blame him but it hurt so much, I honestly thought that we would end up together, I just wanted to do this the right way. If I was being honest with myself I hadn't thought about Gina since he was in the hospital. We really hadn't talked about her so I never felt they were anything serious. All I really knew was they started dating a couple months before he moved here and she decided to move along with him. They moved in together once they got here but that hadn't lasted long because he got shot, only a month or two after living here. Then they broke up. I had no idea if they had been in contact since he found out about me, I never asked so he never told.

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 _All I have to say right now is don't hate me...  
_


	22. Chapter 22

_First I would like to thank all you fabulous people who reviewed, favorited and/or followed this. I love each and every one of you :D It is seriously all of you who make me want to write more._

 _Well I decided to go ahead and give a Bellamy POV just to get an idea how he took the news when Gina told him. This was actually something I hadn't even thought about doing, so thanks apester for the advice. Just hope everyone likes it. Now I usually write way before I post it here so this was freshly written over the last few days, hopefully I didnt miss any mistakes, if so sorry :/_

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Chapter 22

 _Bellamy POV_

I'd never admit it out loud but I was glad when O offered to come with me to watch Amaryllis on Clarke's first day back to work. I'd been around every day since she was born but this will be the first time that Clarke wouldn't be there as well. I was nervous but I never would have asked Octavia myself, I didn't want them to think I wasn't capable of doing it.

It was obvious that Clarke was anxious about leaving, so Octavia and I had to pretty much push her out the door.

After the first hour of being there with Amaryllis I started wondering why I was so nervous to begin with. I looked over at Octavia who was currently smirking at me.

"What?" I asked her.

She smiled "You look like you finally feel comfortable."

I couldn't help but laugh "Was it that obvious?"

She nodded "but I knew you'd be a natural."

I was glad she had so much faith in me because I sure hadn't. I remember the day I woke up in the hospital, I freaked out the moment I saw Clarke. I tried my hardest to be as supportive as I could be but on the inside I thought I would mess everything up. I never had a father figure growing up and it scared me that I wouldn't be a good father either, not until O reminded me that I had already raised one child and did a hell of a job doing it.

I loved my mom to death but she was never one of them moms that were always around. She tried her hardest and has gotten better now that were grown but she should have never been allowed to have kids.

I couldn't help but watch the clock and get more excited the closer it got to when Clarke would be home. When she initially told me she wanted to take this slow I accepted it but never really knew how slow it actually would be. I honestly thought when she kissed me in the hospital that it meant she was finally ready but it didn't. I think that was her turning point to realize she was finally over Finn but not that she was ready to move on.

These last two months being around each other every day, and having Amaryllis has shown me exactly what kind of relationship and family I want. I never thought I could be so ready to be a family man before getting to know Clarke.

When my phone rang it pulled me from my thoughts, looking down at Amaryllis I noticed that she was peacefully sleeping but if I didn't get this phone to stop ringing then she wouldn't be any longer. When I finally got the phone out of my pocket I didn't even check who it was, just answered it.

"Hello." I tried to say quietly not wanting to wake my little girl.

"Uh… Bellamy." Said a voice that I hadn't heard in a long time.

"Gina?" I questioned.

I heard a nervous laugh on the other end of the phone "Yea it's me."

"How are you?" I didn't really know what else to say.

"Umm I'm doing alright… I… Uh… We need to talk." She seemed very nervous.

"Hang on" I told Gina and walked over to Octavia "Can you hold her?"

Octavia took Amaryllis from my arms and gave me a look, which I knew meant she wanted to know what was going on.

I walked into the other room then said into the phone "So what do you need to talk about?"

"Actually I'd like to do this in person, if that's alright with you?" I didn't know what it was about her tone but I had a feeling whatever it was I wasn't going to like it.

I hesitated then finally replied "Alright when?"

"The sooner the better." She finally was starting to sound like her old self again not so nervous.

"Well I could come now if you want." I had a feeling this was something that I needed to know, so I figured the sooner the better.

When I arrived at Gina's apartment she was waiting on me. I noticed right away that she had put on some weight since I last saw her. Which going through my head was a little over 4 months ago. I followed her into her apartment looking around I noticed right away that it didn't seem like a place she'd live in, it was small, too small for her in my opinion.

Gina laughed nervously "I know it's not much but it's not like I could really afford anything else on my own."

I hate to admit it but I hadn't even thought about Gina since she moved out of my house, I never even thought about where she would have ended up. Finally I said "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize Bell, I get it your life completely changed." She was trying to be strong but I could tell she was failing. "I just figured you would have called or something."

"I should have, I know that but with everything going on I needed to figure it out on my own." I felt absolutely horrible for just cutting her out of my life.

"I could have helped you through it, hell Bellamy I uprooted my life for you." She spit the last words out.

It was the truth though we had only just started dating a couple month before but after I was approved for the transfer she decided to come with me. I hadn't expected her to offer to come along but I also didn't ask her not to, I had cared about Gina but I was still so hurt over my breakup with Raven I think I wanted myself to care more to get over the betrayal.

"I know you did and I'm sorry about just leaving you like I did." I was truly sorry.

Gina let out a sigh "I didn't ask you over here to bring up stuff from our past, there's something I need to tell you, I wasn't planning on it but you have a right to know."

"What is it?" I asked her concerned.

"I'm pregnant." She stated not taking her eyes from mine.

A million things went through my mind in an instant, this wasn't happening I had just had a child with Clarke two months ago I couldn't be having another one.

"I know this is a lot to take in… Especially because of everything you just went through but after a lot of debating I knew I had to tell you, you had every right to know." She seemed sincere.

"I can't have another kid." I hadn't meant to say that out loud but once it was out there I couldn't take it back.

Her face hardened "You don't have to have anything to do with this child Bellamy, I just thought, you know what he is a really good guy and would want to know his child."

"I didn't mean it like that Gina… It's just I'm going to have two kids that are less than a year apart and that's a lot to take in." I felt myself deflate I didn't know what I was supposed to do.

"I'm not asking you to marry me or anything Blake damn, I've just seen the way you were about being a father here lately and thought you might want to know, sorry if I was wrong."

"You weren't wrong to tell me, just give me some time to think about this alright?" I told her really needing to think about what I was going to do about this situation.

When I got back home Octavia was there, it surprised me but I'm not sure why. I had expected it. I knew my sister was worried about me but I wasn't ready to talk about it yet, so I sent her home. Everything kept going through my head and I had no idea what to do, I knew I wanted to be a part of the baby's life I just didn't know how everything would work out.

The worse part about this happening was I left her when she was pregnant. I know neither of us knew but still it didn't change the fact if Clarke wouldn't have found me when she did we would still be together right now and this situation would be completely different. I finally decided that I would talk to Octavia, I knew she wouldn't judge me for getting myself into a situation like this. But the reason it took me so long to tell her was because I knew how close she and Clarke have gotten over the last few months.

"So you finally going to tell me what the hell is going on?" Octavia said harshly.

I sighed "I've messed up big time O."

"What happened?" She asked with concern in her eyes.

I could feel my eyes beginning to water "Gina's pregnant."

The shock was apparent on her face "Seriously big bro don't you know how to wrap it?"

Even in a time like this my little sister could always make me smile "Actually I always used protection with Gina."

"You just save them other times with random girls you don't know huh?" Octavia said with a smirk.

"That's only happened once." I said defending myself.

Her face changed "But seriously Bell what are you going to do?"

"I have no idea, I want to do what's right here, I just don't know what that is." I told her honestly.

"You have to think about what's right for you, not what's right for anyone else."

Octavia had no idea what her words actually meant to me. They helped me with my decision more than she would have thought.

I knew what the right thing to do in my book was, I know not everyone will agree to my decision but I knew it's what I had to do. I had to try and see if it would work with Gina but I didn't want to hurt Clarke in the process. As much as I wanted everything to be ok I knew it wouldn't, I knew once I told Clarke things would change forever.


	23. Chapter 23

_Of course first off I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited and/or followed this :) You are all the reason that I write!_

 _jo jo sometimes even if you use protection there is still the possibility you can become pregnant, I've had friends get pregnant using condoms and on birth control._

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Chapter 23

 _Clarke POV_

The next couple months were harder than I liked to admit, I knew that I cared for Bellamy but I hadn't known just how much. I missed him more than I wanted to admit to anymore, I tried to act like everything was alright but it wasn't. He still seen our daughter on a regular basis but it wasn't everyday anymore, up until she was 2 months he seen her every single day but once he found out about Gina the days began to spread out. I knew he didn't have to see her every single day but in my mind he should want to.

Octavia had become my full time babysitter, she saw Bellamy's child more than he did. I'm glad that she was still around because without her I wasn't sure what I would do, she had become a really good friend. We didn't talk much about Bellamy but I could tell that she didn't care to much for Gina, she didn't tell me much but what I gathered from her was Gina walked all over him and he allowed it. I think he felt guilty for leaving her when she was pregnant, even though he had no idea, neither of them did.

My 26th birthday was coming up, Maya and Octavia kept going on and on about going out and having a good time since I had been doing nothing but working and raising my daughter for the last 4 months. And the 9 months before that I hadn't been out doing anything either because of being pregnant. I kept telling them no, that I would just have a little get together with my friends and family but that would be it. It seemed like they had finally given up until my mom came to me telling me she would watch Amaryllis overnight so I could go out and have a good time with my friends.

Now with my mom on board I finally gave in but I wanted to give Bellamy the opportunity to watch her overnight, I was nervous about it since he had never had her overnight on his own but I figured since him and Gina were about to be parents as well that it would help prepare them. I hated that I had so much heart, I shouldn't want to help her out but I did.

I called Bellamy, he answered on the 2nd ring.

"Hello" He sounded surprised.

"Hey I got a question." I said trying to stay calm "Would you and Gina want to watch Amaryllis overnight tomorrow night?"

He was quite for a few moments "You know I'd love to but are you sure you're ready for that?"

"No" I told him honestly with a slight laugh "My mom had actually offered but I figured I'd give you the option first since you are her father."

"I appreciate that." He hesitated "Do you mind if I ask why you need someone to watch her overnight?"

"Actually your sister and Maya are taking me out for my birthday, they wouldn't take no for an answer so I finally gave in." I told him honestly.

"Your birthday's tomorrow?" He asked.

"Yea I was trying to just ignore it but no one else would let me." I laughed.

"Well happy birthday." He told me.

"Thanks." I replied.

The conversation ended up not being as awkward as I thought it would be, we really hadn't talked much since he told me about Gina. Yea we had little forced chats when he was visiting our daughter but most of the time he came by when I wasn't there so there wasn't any awkward encounters.

I couldn't help but actually be excited the next day, the day of my birthday. It had really been awhile since I made a big deal out of my birthdays, in all reality I didn't care too much for them. But this year seemed different but that was because it was different. It was the first year that I was single in a very long time and it was also the first year that I was a mother.

The actual birthday party wasn't nothing big, pretty much consisted of just a few people. My mom and Marcus, Octavia, Maya and Jasper and one other person that at first I was a little upset about being there but after I thought about it figured it was fine, Finn. He wasn't someone I thought about being there but he had been in my life for a very long time and even though we were done romantically he was still a friend.

"I hope you don't mind me being here." He asked as soon as he arrived "If it's a problem I can leave."

I shook my head "Its fine."

Even with Finn being there it was probably one of the best birthday parties I had ever had, I guess 26 isn't too old for a party. Everyone had really outdid themselves and I appreciated it more than I could show. This was exactly what I needed to clear my head of everything going on. At one point Finn brought up Bellamy but after he saw my reaction when he mentioned his name he never brought it up again. I knew he would be asking Jasper about what happened because last he knew me and Bellamy were kind of a thing.

The party was winding down, my mom and Marcus had already left and Octavia pretty much ran over to me asking "So when we heading out? Is Bellamy supposed to be here to pick up Amaryllis?"

I laughed at Octavia's excitement, I knew because she had been helping me so much lately she hadn't been able go out much or anything. "No I'm gonna drop her off to him, well we are, I have to have you go in with me."

Octavia hugged me "That's fine with me sister."

I went to get ready but was surprised to see Octavia and Maya had followed me, I gave them an odd look. Then Maya finally spoke "Well we figured you wouldn't have anything nice to wear out tonight so we also got this for you."

I held up the outfit Maya had handed me and wasn't sure if I could wear it, it was actually a nice outfit but I just didn't know if I could pull it off anymore.

"Just try it on." Octavia said after I hesitated.

"Fine." I said as I walked to the adjoined bathroom.

Both pieces were black, the shirt actually wasn't as bad as I had first imagined, it seemed lower cut than it actually was and the skirt went right to my knees. Even though I didn't really like skirts I had to admit the outfit actually looked pretty good on. Once I opened the bathroom door both girls smiled.

"I knew you'd look awesome in that." Octavia said as soon as she saw me.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Octavia and I drove together so we could drop Amaryllis off and we were going to meet Maya, Jasper and Finn there. I still wasn't completely sure if I was comfortable with Finn being there but honestly I felt it wasn't my place to tell him he wasn't allowed, he did do the courteous thing and ask so I figured I wouldn't bitch about it.

When we pulled up to Bellamy's house I couldn't help but feel nervous, not just because I was about to leave my daughter for the first time but also because I was about to see Bellamy. It didn't matter how often I saw him, I still got butterflies. Octavia was already out of the car and at the door by the time I got Amaryllis out of the car. She was waiting with the door open.

Bellamy was standing in the doorway when I got there, I couldn't help but notice he was staring at me. "You look nice." He finally said after a few awkward moments.

"Thank you." I felt myself blushing immediately, I tried to look away so it wasn't so obvious.

I followed them into the living room where I finally sat Amaryllis down, Gina was sitting on the couch so I smiled at her as I walked in.

"Thank you for letting us keep her overnight." Gina said appreciably "Bellamy was so excited after you called yesterday."

"It's not a problem at all, he is her father." I turned around and looked at him "I was actually just thinking and if you'd like her more often, we should really try to work something out."

Bellamy's face lit-up "I would love to have her at least one night a week, maybe two."

I took a deep breath "Well you two should talk it over and maybe tomorrow we could talk about it when I pick her up..." I laughed lightly "But I guess that all depends on how I feel tomorrow."

Bellamy looked at Octavia "O don't let her drink too much tonight."

I saw it all over his face that he was worried about me, which he had a right to be I guess, I mean the last time I drunk anything was the night we conceived Amaryllis a little over a year ago. I couldn't help but glance over at Gina and knew right away that she didn't like the comment.

"I got this big bro, you don't have to worry." Octavia told her brother.

We said our goodbyes and started walking toward the door, I hadn't noticed that Bellamy had followed us until we were starting to walk out the front door. He grabbed ahold of my hand, which made me turn around.

"Clarke please don't do anything stupid." Bellamy pleaded.

"Why would I?" I asked confused.

"Because you're pissed at me." I hated the way it made me feel to see him upset.

"Bellamy you need to understand I'm not that kind of person, the thing with Finn was different, I loved him with every bit of my heart and he shattered that…" I hesitated before saying "But I don't love you Bellamy, yea it hurt when you chose to go back to Gina but I understand it, me and you were just meant to be that little girl's parents and I'm alright with that because she's my life and as long as she's happy so am I."

Bellamy almost seemed like my words hurt him which I didn't understand, he obviously wanted to be with Gina so why would that bother him. "I wish it could have been different."

That wasn't something I expected to hear him say, I wasn't sure how I should respond to it. Then I just said how I really felt, "me to." I really did wish it could have been different, I wish we could have been together not just for the sake of Amaryllis but because I could see a future with him. I never thought I could care for someone so soon after Finn but I did and once again things didn't go the way I hoped.

I looked back at him one more time as I walked back to my car and to Octavia, she knew the moment I sat down that I wasn't alright. Without even thinking I told her "I wanted that, what he and Gina have."

She gave me a knowing look, we tried not to talk much about Bellamy but I had a feeling she knew how I felt even though I never told her. "Maybe one day, you didn't hear this from me but I don't think that'll last."

I hugged her, even if they did, I liked that she was on my side. Of course I wasn't happy that Octavia didn't like her brother's girlfriend but I couldn't help but feel her words were exactly what I needed to hear. I finally cleared my head and started driving, this day was about me and having fun, not thinking about what should have been or could have been.

When we finally arrived at the club I saw Maya right away, she looked stunning in the red dress she changed into. Of course I told her right away about the whole awkward visit. Octavia made sure she put in her two cents about her brother and Gina, I couldn't help but laugh every time she got worked up about the two of them. The more and more time I spent around Octavia, the more I realized that she really didn't care for Gina, it wasn't just because of me.


	25. Chapter 25

_Like always I want to thank each and every one of you who reviewed, favorited, followed and have read so far! I can never tell you enough how much I appreciate you all!_

 _weallfindlove: thank you for your idea :) but you are correct I do write in advance and actually I have already finished just writing the epilogue now. Your idea wasn't bad though!_

 _I'm thinking about starting another 100 ff just not sure yet lol need some new ideas... Actually for some reason I really wanna write a Clarke/Murphy ff just trying to work out stuff for that... I'm a Bellarke shipper but for some reason I cant get the idea of them out of my head sooo usually that means I need to write lol just gotta get a story._

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Chapter 25

I woke up feeling groggy not really sure what had happened the night before. The last thing I remembered was drinking a few drinks and dancing with the girls. I couldn't even remember leaving or how I got home. I turned over in the bed and realized right away that I wasn't alone, now I was starting to freak out just a little but that was nothing compared to a moment later when I realized I had no idea where I was. Looking around I knew I wasn't at home but once I started seeing familiar things my heart dropped. I couldn't see the man's face who laid next to me but I knew who it was and I wasn't very happy that I was laying in his bed.

I was beyond pissed I let myself do something like this, I just sat there staring at him hoping it had been a horrible nightmare but the longer I stared the more I knew that I would have no such luck. Finally I couldn't take it anymore so I screamed "Wake up."

He stared stirring and when he turned around all my worse fear came true, Finn was lying in bed with me. "What's up?"

"What the hell do you mean what's up?" I was so furious I couldn't keep my temper in check.

Finn was rubbing his eyes "man do you always wake this pissed?"

"No just when I wake up next to someone and have no idea how I got here." I told him.

"What do you mean you have no idea how you got here?" He sounded concerned.

"I mean that last night is a big blur to me, all I remember is drinking a little and dancing with Maya and Octavia nothing more." I was so mad that I had actually started crying.

Finn stood up quickly which revealed that he was dressed, just in a pair of shorts but it was something.

"Clarke I don't know what you think happened but nothing did, you were too drunk to drive home so you asked if you could just crash here." Finn told me "You fell asleep on the couch I have no idea how you wound up in my bed."

I couldn't help but relax "but I still don't understand how I got here in the first place."

"We came back here after the club closed, you really don't remember? It was your idea." He was looking at me like he didn't believe me.

I shook my head "I don't get it, I didn't drink that much."

Finn shrugged his shoulders "I don't have any clue about that all I know is nothing happened between us last night, that I'm 100% sure about."

I sighed with relief "Thank God."

I felt bad for my reaction about Finn but I couldn't have myself going back down that road. We may have kind of become friends now but it will never be anything more than that. In my heart I will always love him but not the way I use to anymore.

I left Finn's pretty quickly without saying another word to him, I knew it was getting late and Bellamy was probably wondering what was keeping me. I still had to go back to my place, take a quick shower and change. The moment I walked into my house I went straight to the medicine cabinet and got some aspirin and full glass of water, I had a headache from hell. Once the aspirin started doing its job I finally got into the shower.

As I showered I started getting flashbacks from the night before.

 _I was dancing with Octavia and Maya, just by my actions I could tell I had drunk more than I had previously thought._

 _Then I was dancing with some random guy that I had never seen before, I felt it was innocent even though it didn't look that way._

 _Finn drug me away from the guy I had been dancing with, telling me he thought I had too much to drink._

 _The group was together, Finn was telling Maya that he thought I needed to head home. I didn't like that idea so I got another drink. Once I was finished with that one I suggested moving the party to Finn's, surprisingly he agreed._

 _We continued having a good time at Finn's, Octavia left shortly after arriving though but she only left after making me promise that I'd be alright._

 _Maya and Jasper were obviously tired, they wanted to go but I still wasn't ready. I begged and pleaded until Finn agreed to let me sleep on his couch, Maya didn't like the idea but finally left after I pretty much forced her out the door._

 _It was obvious that Finn was tired as well but he stayed up to entertain me. I tried to make him dance with me but when that failed I couldn't believe what I did. I started dancing on him, he was sitting on the couch and I was pretty much giving him a lap dance. Thankfully I did have my clothes on._

 _I could tell that Finn was kind of enjoying everything at first but that all changed the moment I straddled him and began rubbing myself all over him._

 _Finn tried to get through to me, tried to ask me to get off him but I wouldn't listen. I knew if he truly wanted me off of him he would force me and since he hadn't yet I took it to the next level. I kissed him, I seriously kissed my ex-husband._

 _I saw Finn give in for just a moment but that moment was all, he pushed me back and onto the couch standing in the process. He was pissed that was obvious. He yelled at me some, grabbed a blanket throwing it toward me and then went into his room closing the door behind him._

 _I laid down on the couch but when sleep didn't come I got up. I slowly walked to Finn's room and knocked lightly. When there was no response I opened the door and seen he was already fast asleep. I walked further into his room and climbed into the bed next to him, turning the opposite way of him and fell right to sleep._

I stood there in the shower, my water now running cold an emotion wreck. I couldn't believe I would do something like that, especially to Finn. I knew Finn had a harder time moving on than I did and for me to do that, I felt ashamed. As soon as I got out of the shower I grabbed my phone and sent him a text.

 _Why didn't you tell me?_

I got a response almost immediately.

 _There was no reason to_

 _I disagree, I took advantage of your kindness_

 _Don't worry about it_

 _Thank you for stopping me_

 _Clarke you should know if anything were to ever happen between us again I wouldn't want it to be like that_

My heart hurt, I think this gave Finn hope that I forgave him and that we might have a chance one day. But that was so far from the truth, I could never be with him again. As much as I didn't want to bring it up I knew I had to tell him and make sure he understood that nothing has changed.

 _Finn, nothing like that will ever happen again. It was a drunken mistake but I won't allow it to happen again. I don't love you anymore._

When I didn't get a response back I had a feeling that we wouldn't be talking again for a while.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

It had been about a month since my mistake with Finn and he still hadn't spoken to me. I had never made a mistake like that when I was drunk. I knew there was the whole Bellamy thing but I was coherent and knew exactly what I was doing in that situation. I tried to apologize to him a few times but finally just gave up. I knew I made a mistake and if he wasn't going to forgive me that was his own problem.

Bellamy and Gina had been keeping Amaryllis over night for at least one night the last month and that was hard enough itself on me but when he asked if he could keep for her a full weekend it nearly killed me. I knew I couldn't deny him of his time with his daughter though. I knew once his and Gina's son was born that he wouldn't be keeping her as much so that made it a little easier on me knowing it was temporary.

I had just clocked in at the hospital and was getting ready to start my rounds when a friend of mine that worked over in Maternity rushed up to me.

"Hey you know a Gina Martin right?" Harper asked sounding concerned.

I nodded then asked "Why?"

"She was brought into Labor & Delivery last night." She hesitated "She went into labor early, right now they were able to postpone it but they're thinking she'll end up having him within a day or two."

"But she's only what 35 weeks?" I knew going more than a month early could cause complications.

She nodded.

I couldn't help but feel scared for Bellamy's baby. I figured I'd go visit her on my lunch.

I got so busy at work and by the time lunch time came I was so hungry I had to eat something so I wasn't able to go see Gina until after my shift ended. I called Octavia and let her know I'd be a little late getting home. I went to the front desk and found out what room Gina was in, I was surprised to see that they had her set up in private mother-baby room. As I rounded the corner I saw Bellamy walking out of her room.

"Hey" I said as I walked toward him.

"Hey" He replied weakly.

"Is everything alright?" I asked as I approached him.

He looked like he was trying to stay strong but I could see behind his mask, I could see the pain in his eyes. He finally shook his head. "He's so small, we can't even hold him."

I closed the distance between us and pulled him in for a hug, I didn't care if it was appropriate or not. Bellamy was hurting and all I cared about was comforting him.

"How is Gina?" I asked as I pulled away from him.

"As good as she can be." He responded as he was wiping the tears from his face.

"Do you think she's up for a visitor?" I asked Bellamy, not wanting to go in without invitation.

"I think she'd like that." He told me as he walked toward the room and I followed him.

He opened the door and said "Hey hun, you have a visitor."

My heart broke when I saw her, she looked miserable. "Hey Gina, I hope it's ok that I stopped by to see how you were."

She tried her hardest to smile at me "Yea its fine, I appreciate it."

I went and sat next to her, automatically taking her hand in mine. I knew the situation was odd but she will be part of my life forever, our children are brother and sister.

We were talking for about a half hour when the doctor came in, I started to get up and give them privacy but Gina tightened the grip on my hand which told me she didn't want me to leave.

"How are you feeling?" She asked Gina as she walked in.

"Better how is he doing?" She asked, getting emotional just asking.

"Actually its why I'm here, we need to do a blood transfusion, it's nothing serious but sometimes when a baby is born prematurely they need a little bit of blood put back in their bodies." She said to Gina and Bellamy.

"I can donate." Bellamy said without hesitation.

What surprised me was what Gina said next.

"You don't need to do that Bellamy, I bet they have plenty of blood already on hand, right?" She almost looked nervous.

"Actually having a family member is always better and since he is his father, there's a good chance that their blood types will match." The doctor corrected Gina.

I felt Gina's hand getting sweaty under mine, she kept looking straight not at anyone. I looked at Bellamy who was concentrating on what the doctor was saying, not paying attention to anything else. I didn't know if it was all in my head or what but something wasn't right. Bellamy followed the doctor, which just left me and Gina.

"Hey I'm going to have to get going, Octavia has Amaryllis, so I need to get home." I tried to keep a straight face not wanting her to know I was suspicious.

"Thank you for being here." She sounded sincere.

"Just keep me updated alright." I told her as I was walking toward the door.

The moment I was in the hall I went and found Harper. She knew something was on the mind as soon as she seen me.

"Can we go speak somewhere private?" I asked her.

She nodded then started walking and went into the first door on her right, I followed her.

"What's up?" She asked as soon as the door was closed.

I told her about Gina having the baby and him needing the transfusion, about Gina's reaction when Bellamy offered to donate. "I don't think it's his baby."

Harper looked at me like she didn't know what to say at first. "Are you sure that's really how it happened? You don't think because the way you feel about Bellamy that you may be trying to create something that isn't there?"

I thought about it for a minute then said "No, I know what I saw."

"Well what do you want me to do?" She finally asked.

"I don't know, are you able to do a DNA test?" I asked her hopefully.

"Clarke I could get in trouble for doing something like that, they take the blood strictly for the purposes they need them for." Harper said unsure.

"I don't know then, I just have this feeling and I know Bellamy is not this baby's father but I can't bring it up to him, he'd never believe me." I was stuck in a situation that I had no idea what to do about.

"I'll see what I can do but I'm not making any promises." Harper said after thinking for a few minutes.

"Don't do anything that'll get you in trouble, just keep an eye and ear out for me, would ya?" I didn't know how else I would prove my theory.

"I will." Harper agreed.


	27. Chapter 27

_Thank you for the reviews, I know a lot of you already had suspicions that Gina's baby wasn't Bellamy's and that is answered in this chapter.._

 _Well were almost finished here, just a couple more chapters left then the epilogue that I'm still currently working on..._

 _I'd really like to write another 100 ff but I'm having issues coming up with a story/plot... I've pretty much only done drama filled romance so I'm sooo limited on what I can do.. lol_

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Chapter 27

It had been a couple days since Bellamy donated his blood for his and Gina's son and I hated to admit it but I was disappointed when the blood matched. Harper said that didn't mean that I had it wrong, that just because they had the same type of blood didn't mean that he had actually fathered him, it just meant they had the same type of blood. She also assured me that since O was the most comment blood type that it really didn't mean anything at all.

Gina was back home from the hospital but their son still had to stay in the NICU until he was bigger and stronger. He was actually doing a lot better since he had the blood transfusion just not well enough yet. I couldn't help but sneak over to the maternity part and see him on occasion, I couldn't help but compare him to Amaryllis and seen no resemblance at all.

A week had gone by now since I asked Harper for help and even though I honestly didn't think she'd be able to she did deliver. She called me excited that she was actually able to get the test sent off and it had just come back. So I rushed back to maternity since she wouldn't tell me the results over the phone. When I approached her I saw the envelope in her hand and noticed it hadn't been opened.

"You haven't looked?" I asked her in disbelief.

"Nope figured it wasn't my place." She told me.

I snatched it from her hand, saying sorry as I did and ripped it open. I skimmed down the page and when I saw the big bold print that read, **BELLAMY BLAKE, possibility of paternity 0%.** I couldn't help but jump up and down with excitement before I realized just how wrong that was.

I looked at Harper knowing I had a silly grin plastered on my face, "He's not his father… Oh my… I wasn't sure… How do I tell him?"

Harper looked at me with concern in her eyes "Are you sure you want to be the one who tell him?"

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked confused.

"Clarke he may blame you." Harper told me.

"Do you think that's really a possibility?" I hadn't even thought of that.

She nodded.

I had so much to think about, now I didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't want Bellamy to hate me but I also didn't want him raising a child that wasn't his and being with someone that he really never wanted to be with in the first place. He only got back with Gina because she was pregnant and now that the baby isn't his, he wouldn't have to be there anymore.

I needed to really think before I did something I might regret. I knew I didn't want to wait that long though, the longer I waited the more attached Bellamy would get to a child that isn't his.

Bellamy was on his way over to see Amaryllis and I knew right then that it was time I told him. I didn't know how things would go but he needed to know and I was the only one who could tell him. My plan was to tell him as soon as he got to my house but he looked so happy to see his daughter I held off on it. I decided I would wait until he was about to leave.

He was sitting on the couch with Amaryllis sound asleep in his arms. It was seriously one of the most precious sights I had ever saw. I hated to interrupt the moment but I knew I needed to, I slowly picked her up from his arms and took her to her bedroom.

I started walking back to the living room but ran right into Bellamy, I hadn't realized he had started following me back to Amaryllis's room. He had his hand on my lower back helping me regain my balance. Once I was back balanced I expected him to let go but he didn't. He just stood there staring down at me, I knew when he took his other hand and put it on my side I should have stopped him, but I didn't. I let him pull me to him.

My brain was anywhere but where it should have been, I wanted nothing more than Bellamy to lean down and place his lips against mine. But the moment never came, after an agonizing few minutes of standing there, staring into each other's eyes, he finally backed away.

"I'm sorry." He said almost inaudible.

I grabbed his hand and told him "You don't need to apologize about anything."

"Yea I do, this isn't right Clarke." He took a deep breath "I shouldn't want you the way I do, not when I'm with Gina."

It was my turn to take a deep breath, this was my time. "Bellamy I have to ask you, if she wouldn't have gotten pregnant would you have went back to her?"

He looked at me sadly then shook his head. "She's not the one I wanted."

I didn't know how to say the next part without sounding like a heartless bitch. "Well what if you could go back to before, when you didn't have another child."

"Clarke that's impossible, I do have another child." Bellamy didn't understand where I was going with this.

"What if he wasn't yours?" I finally got out.

"Do you know something?" He asked getting a little upset.

I felt my heart speeding up, I took the paper from my pocket and shakily handed it to him.

I saw the expression on his face change through so many different emotions, as he was folding it back up he looked at me and I didn't like what I saw. "How long have you known?"

"Only a couple days, I just needed to find the right time to tell you?" I told him.

"But you must have been suspicious before right? I mean why else would you have a test done… When did you have this done?" His had raised his voice and I hated that it kind of frightened me.

"The day he was born…" I barely got the words out before he was yelling at me.

"You knew the day he was born that he might not be mine and you didn't think I should have known that?" He was madder than I had ever seen him.

"I'm sorry Bellamy, I wasn't sure." I tried to explain "I just had a feeling so I went with it."

"And I guess I'm not important enough to let in huh?" He went from mad to upset.

I tried to grab for him which I should have known was a mistake, he hadn't meant to but as he was trying to get me to release my grip on his arm he pushed me right into the wall. I stood there not sure if I should try to approach him again or just leave him be. I didn't even have a chance to move he was in front of me before I could even think about it.

He punched the wall beside me, leaving an indent but I was more worried about his hand, it had started bleeding almost immediately. I grabbed for his hand, this time he let me. I was trying to look it over but before I knew it Bellamy's lips were pressed against mine. I knew this was wrong that I shouldn't have let it happen like this but I didn't stop him. Feeling his lips against mine after all this time made me feel everything was going to be ok even though I knew nothing probably would.


	28. Chapter 28

_I want to think everyone who reviewed, I'm not sure who all you are right now since my reviews arent showing up lol but I do want you to know I appreciate you all :)_

 _I can't believe this is almost finished, I usually go way overboard and end up with sooo much more than there should be lol_

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Chapter 28

I woke up the next morning to the phone ringing, I felt around on the nightstand before finally finding it, hit the green button and answered it.

"Hello." I said still half asleep.

"Clarke?" I heard a women's voice ask.

"Yea."

"Why are you answering Bellamy's phone?" She didn't sound very happy.

It was that moment that I realized it wasn't my phone that had rung, it was Bellamy's. I held the phone out to look at it, cursed to myself then put it back up to my ear.

"Huh he must have left it here yesterday, I hadn't even noticed." I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"Have you seen him?" She asked concerned.

I turned over looking at the other side of my bed, yes I've seen him but I'm not going to tell her that.

"Not since he was here yesterday." I lied.

"Well if you do will you please tell him to call me, I'm worried." I couldn't tell if she believed me or not.

"I sure will."

Once I hung up the phone I turned around again looking at Bellamy still sleeping peacefully. I threw his phone at him, "Dammit Bellamy."

He started to stir, as soon as our eyes locked he sat up quickly. "Shit."

Neither of us moved for the longest time.

Finally Bellamy said "This was a mistake."

As much as I didn't want to hear him say that I knew it was the truth, it was a mistake.

"I'm sorry Clarke." He whispered into my ear.

I turned my head slightly so I could face him "You have nothing to apologize for Bell."

"That's where we differ Princess." He sounded so down.

"Bellamy what happened between us shouldn't have I agree, but this was just as much my fault as it was yours." I sighed "I've wanted this to happen for so long, I almost feel like it's more my fault then yours."

"You want to know a secret?" He asked all mysteriously.

I couldn't help but laugh "You know I do."

"You're not the only one who's wanted this for a long time." He told me right before he pressed his lips against mine again.

Even though we both had just agreed that what had happened was a mistake we did it again. There was just something about Bellamy that made me not think straight when I was around him. Even though I knew we shouldn't be doing what we were I couldn't stop it, I didn't want to.

We were in our own little world until Amaryllis finally woke up. We hadn't left the bed, we hadn't gotten dressed, hell we couldn't keep our hands off each other long enough to do anything. I didn't know how things would be once Bellamy left today but I had a feeling things would be different. We all had breakfast together then he said he had to go.

I walked him to the door "If you need somewhere to go you know I'll be right here."

He gave me a slight smile then kissed my forehead "keep that bed warm for me."

I laughed, "Will do."

I watched him as he walked from my house to his car, I knew this wasn't how I planned everything would go with Bellamy but I finally felt we were going the right way. We only had one more obstacle to get through and that was Gina. I hoped after today we would finally be right where I knew we should be.

I really had expected to hear something from Bellamy by the end of that night but he never called and he never texted. I wasn't sure what happened when he confronted Gina, I knew it wasn't any of my business but I couldn't help but need to know. I kept grabbing my phone wanting to text him but I didn't, I knew this was an awful experience for him to go through and he'd get in touch with me when he was ready.

A few more days past and still nothing from Bellamy, I didn't understand. He was obviously upset with me once I first told him but I really thought we had moved past that. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I decided to text him. As soon as I grabbed my phone it rang, when I saw Bellamy's name flash across the screen I couldn't help but smile.

"How odd is it that I was just getting ready to text you?" I asked as I answered the phone.

He chuckled "Great minds think alike."

"So how are you?" I asked cautiously.

"Better" He sounded brighter, happier "Things were rough at first but she didn't deny anything so it went smoother than I thought it would."

"Well that's good…" I hesitated "Well not that anything is really good in this situation but I'm glad that she was honest with you."

"She said that she was planning on telling me eventually." He told me.

"Oh eventually huh? What when he turned 18?" I hadn't meant to say that out loud, not sure how Bellamy would take it but when I heard a soft chuckle it made me feel better.

"That's actually the same things I asked her." It surprised me how much we thought alike "She swore that it wouldn't have been that long, she just wanted me to see how much I actually cared for her."

"She seriously told you that?" I was shocked.

"Oh yea and she wasn't too happy when I told her that you were the only one I've wanted to be with." Bellamy just kept on surprising me.

"You actually said that?" I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks, I was so glad he wasn't here to see how his words affected me.

"Yes and it's the truth Clarke, I tried to make it work with Gina and even before I knew Greyson wasn't mine I knew she wasn't what I wanted, she could never be you." Bellamy's voice was full of emotion.

"Bellamy…" I started.

"I know there's something between us and there has been since the moment I woke up in that hospital bed, I should have never went back to Gina and I hope that didn't ruin the possibility of us exploring what this is between us…" He paused for a brief moment "Clarke if you're not busy I'd like to take you and Amaryllis out to dinner or something."

"Are you asking me out on an actual date, Bellamy Blake?" I said with a smirk.

"That's exactly what I am doing, are you going to agree to my proposal?" He asked, I knew he was smiling as big as I was.

"Well I don't know…" I paused then said what both of us already knew I would "Of course I would like to go out on a date with you."


	29. Chapter 29

_I want to say thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited and/or followed my story, I appreciate you all more than you know :D_

 _This is the last chapter but there will be an epilogue, so stay tuned lol!_

 _I'm a huge Bellarke shipper which is funny because I have never really shipped a couple before, yea I've liked certain couples in the past but never really shipped one... I watch season after season expecting/hoping to see them together but still nothing but teasing lol_

 _well... I've got a couple ideas for a new 100 ff just nothing solid yet. Just trying to work my head around the storyline.  
_

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Chapter 29

When we planned our date it was supposed to be the three of us; Bellamy, myself and Amaryllis but Octavia pretty much made the decision for us that she was going to watch Amaryllis so we could go on our own. I was thankful that Octavia was around, sometimes she really made it easier for me.

It was the day that Bellamy and I was going to finally have our first date. When the doorbell rang I was expecting Octavia since she was watching Amaryllis but I didn't expect to see Maya standing next to her.

I eyed her suspiciously "What are you doing here?"

"You think I would actually miss your first date? There has been months and months leading up to today, I wouldn't miss it for the world." Maya said with a huge smile plastered on her face.

I hugged her then Octavia as well. "Thank you guys for being here for me."

"Always" I wasn't sure which one said it but I could have sworn it was both.

By the time Bellamy came to pick me up, I had changed outfits, my hair was different and I had a little makeup on. I wasn't planning on going all out since it was Bellamy but Maya made a good point when she said just because I'm comfortable with him already that he didn't deserve to not see the best of me. As soon as I opened the door his eyes were on me and by the way he was staring I knew he liked what he saw.

"You look beautiful." He said barley more than a whisper.

I felt my cheeks warming "thank you." I knew I was smiling like an idiot but I didn't care.

Bellamy had also dressed up for our date, he was wearing a white button up shirt and a pair of black dress slacks.

I heard footsteps coming from behind me "Damn Bell you sure clean up nice." Octavia laughed.

Bellamy was looking past me to his sister and our daughter that she was currently holding. I couldn't help but think that Amaryllis was looking more and more like the Blake siblings every day. She not only had their dark hair but she also inherited Bellamy's olive color skin. Right now the only part of me that I see in her is her big blue eyes, which I'm told could still change. Octavia brought Amaryllis over to Bellamy so he could see her for a few before we headed out. I loved watching them together, it was something I seriously thought I could watch for hours.

Finally about an hour after Bellamy got to my house we were on our way to the restaurant. We were seated pretty quickly, food ordered and delivered all quicker that I would have liked. We kept up pretty good conversation the entire date but I hated to admit that was probably the only good part about it.

The waitress couldn't keep her eyes off Bellamy and seriously even gave him her number after we paid our check. Our food wasn't very good it was only relatively eatable. Then just to make things awkward Finn and some blonde were seated just a few tables over from us. Which reminded me that I needed to let Bellamy know what happened, or almost happened with Finn when he went back with Gina.

As soon as we got back into his car I told him about Finn, he wasn't too happy about it but was glad I hadn't kept it from him.

By the time we made it back to my house I was surprised to see Maya still there, I had just figured she would have left after I did. Bellamy came inside with me, which I figured he might so he could see his daughter again. That's the thing about dating Bellamy it will never be like a normal relationship since we do already have a child together. Thinking about it we seriously did everything completely backwards in this relationship but if that's the way to make this work I'm completely ok with that.

As soon as we walked into the house Octavia was there staring at us.

"What?" I said with a laugh.

"How was it? Was it the best date in the history of dates?" Maya asked coming up from behind Octavia.

"Actually it was probably the worst date ever." I said without a hint of sarcasm.

Both the girls' mouths dropped.

I looked at Octavia 'He even got another girls number."

Octavia looked at her brother with a pissed off expression "You did what?"

Bell let out a big laugh "I didn't ask for her number she just gave it to me."

I couldn't help but smile "Yea it just happened to be our waitress."

Maya looked surprised "Seriously?"

We both nodded in unison.

I told them about the horrible food and then our dinner guest sitting just a couple tables away. While I was talking Bellamy ended up behind me with his arms around my waist and head resting on mine. Talk about distraction.

"And honestly the date itself was horrible but is it weird that I had a great time?" I don't know what it was about the whole situation but I felt if the date would have been perfect than it might have been boring.

I felt Bellamy smile against my cheek "I did to, I honestly think that was the best date I've ever went on."

I nodded in agreement.

Octavia and Maya looked back and forth at each other than Octavia spoke up "Well I think we're gonna get out of here and let you two see if you can make that horrible date better."

I felt my cheek heating up again and wondered if Bell felt it as well since his face was still touching my cheek.

I thanked the both of them and attempted to pay them for babysitting but neither would accept my money saying they offered. Once they were gone we sat for a few hours playing with Amaryllis and just talked. I knew once it started getting late we would have to say goodbye since we both had to work in the morning. I hated that he had to go back to his house but I knew until we got to that point in this new relationship we needed to stay at our own places.

Amaryllis had finally went to bed and I walked Bellamy to the door, I couldn't believe that I was actually nervous saying goodnight to him. We stood in my doorway for what seemed like hours even though I knew it was only minutes. Finally he leaned down and kissed me, the moment I had been waiting for and I was happy it didn't disappoint. The kiss was so gentle, so soft it seriously felt like what a first kiss should feel like. It may not have been our official first kiss but in my book it counted.

When I finally climbed into bed that night my mind finally wasn't all over the place, it was in one place and one place only. On Bellamy Blake.

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 _I kept going back and forth with myself if I was going to end here or not and I just felt this was the ending I was going for. Like I said before there will be an epilogue, that I'm still currently working on. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what all to add into the epilogue, I mean of course you all want to know what happened with Clarke and Bellamy but is there anything else particular you want to know?_


	30. EPILOGUE

_Thank you all for your reviews and the ideas for the epilogue, I already had some of it written up but was having problems finishing it and I hope I did it justice and you all love it!_

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 **Epilogue**

5 Years Later

I looked around the room and couldn't help but get emotional.

"You better not start crying now, you're going to ruin your makeup." Octavia ordered.

I tried to smile but failed miserably "I'm sorry I'm just so happy."

"I know you are your about to officially become my sister." She stated with her hands on her hips.

Bellamy had proposed about a year ago and honestly I didn't know that I wanted to get remarried until that moment. I knew I was in love but marriage was something that I thought was in my past, after everything that happened the first time around, I was afraid. But to my surprise I didn't hesitate to say yes, hell we had moved in together a year after our first official date, so I figured making it legal wouldn't hurt anything.

I hadn't planned on a big wedding but once I told Maya and Octavia they wouldn't have it any other way. My wedding to Finn was very small, only my family had attended and no one was going to let me make that mistake again.

Of course Maya was my maid of honor and Octavia one of my bridesmaids, the two of them had become my world outside of Bellamy and Amaryllis. We had all gotten so close that Bellamy had even asked Jasper to be one of his groomsmen. He also asked Octavia's husband Lincoln to be a groomsman as well, which had O in tears. Bell and Lincoln didn't get along at first but with a lot of talking he finally started loosening up and realized that his little sister wasn't so little anymore and hating her husband would never be a good thing.

Amaryllis made the prettiest flower girl that I had ever seen but I guess I was biased since she was my daughter. Her dark curls bounced around her shoulders and her big blue eyes shined so bright making the freckles across her nose stand out. I watched as she led her cousin around the room and couldn't help but smile, she was only a couple years older than Jax but you'd never know by the way she acted all mommy. She had that parenting skill far before she should just like her daddy. She looked after him just as her dad had looked after his mom.

There was a knock on the door letting us know it was time. I was finally about to become Mrs. Bellamy Blake.

I watched as each person left the room one by one until it was just me and my mom. She took my hand into hers and said "I'm so proud of you."

I hugged her before we made our way out of the room and down the aisle. It hurt that my dad wasn't here to give me away but having my mom did fill that gap. I had always been closer with my dad but since my mom moved here we have gotten a lot closer.

The moment I saw Bellamy at the end of the aisle I couldn't look away. I couldn't take my eyes off him. I've seen him every day but it was nothing compared to the way I saw him right then. I never thought I could love him more but I knew I had been wrong, I felt my love growing even more.

The ceremony went off without a hitch, I'd like to say I stood there and basked in the whole thing but honestly I was so fixated on Bellamy that I missed most of what the minister said. It wasn't until we had to say our vows that I snapped out of it. When we shared our kiss after we were pronounced husband and wife it felt like a first kiss all over again. I guess in all reality it was like another first kiss, our first kiss as a married couple.

We left for our honeymoon right after the reception, which was so much harder than I could have imagined. The thought of leaving our daughter for 2 full weeks was weighing heavy on both of our hearts. We knew she'd be in good hands staying with Octavia, Lincoln and Jax but it was still hard to grasp that she wouldn't be around.

The two weeks went by so quickly and even though I was excited to get back to Amaryllis I was sad to be leaving our little paradise. We really had a good time even though much of it was spent in our room, we really did spend every possible moment together and most of it the bedroom.

About 9 months after our honeymoon we welcomed our second child, a little boy we named Declan. Two days later Octavia also delivered her second child, another boy as well.

Growing up it had pretty much only been me and my parents, we never really had the whole big family thing going for us. I never really admitted it before but I loved the thought of having a big family and the longer I was around the Blake's the larger my family seemed to grow.

Raising Declan was different than with Amaryllis, since we had just started officially dating when she was around 6 months old we didn't get to experience her first together. She actually spoke her first words about a week after our first date, I was working and Bellamy called me so emotional telling me how she kept saying "dada". It broke my heart that I missed it but then when she said "mama" for the first time I was there but it wasn't the same as her first actual word. The first time she crawled was the complete opposite, Bell was at work and it was just me and Amaryllis. She kept trying to get a toy but it was out of reach and before I had a chance to get it for her, she crawled to it. Bellamy tried to act like it didn't bother him but I knew it did.

Amaryllis had just turned a year old the first time she walked, no I should say ran. Bellamy had just walked into the house and she stood up and just ran to him. He just stared at her mesmerized before he finally scooped her up in his arms. It was actually that moment that I realized I was absolutely head over heels in love with the man that stood in front of me. I had already knew that I loved him but I hadn't realized the full extent until right then.

After Declan was born I knew I still wanted more kids but what I hadn't expected was I would end up pregnant again just a month later. That pregnancy was a lot harder on me and my body than the previous two pregnancies and after some complications I ended up having to have an emergency C-section at 37 weeks. We were very lucky and our third child and second daughter was very healthy but because of the complications she would be our last.

When we first found out that we wouldn't be able to conceive anymore children it was hard on us. We had been together for a little over 6 years now and married for 1 and being told that we couldn't have any more children scared us, well me mostly. Bell was the most supportive husband I could have asked for, he waited for me to get back on my feet and didn't give up on me, not even once.

I realized after that, that I was beyond happy with the family that we had. I should have never questioned it one bit but just the thought that it was my fault that he could never father another child, really had me messed up. It was a few hellish months but we made it past it and in my opinion was stronger going through something like that together.

I never really knew if happily ever after was really a thing but I now know that it is. I had to go through a lot to get to where I was in life but I knew I was truly happy and loved. Some people might say they would want to take their hardships out of their life if they could but that's not the case here. Having went through the experiences I have really makes me cherish everything I have. Without all my past I might have taken advantage of my situation and might not have found my happily ever after.


End file.
